The …’s of the Decade

I expect publications will be indulging in their year-end exercise in scatology with greater vigour this year.  It is, after all, the end of the first decade of the second millennium in the rears of our lord. (Anus Domini)

So, be not surprised if Rolling Stone ranks Amy Winehouse as the Artist of the Decade and if Kate Moss tops Vogue’s list of Celebrities For Whom Children Should Give Up Reading Books Or Developing Any Semblance Of Intelligence To Ape Blindly And If They Die Of Forced Starvation, Hallelujah To The Gene Pool!… of the Decade. (The benefit of that last statement is that the only people it could possibly offend wouldn’t be able to read and/or understand it. Except Nimish, perhaps.)

But… Where was I? Ah, yes. Nowhere. Excellent.

So, since every blog and magazine that follows the Christian era calendar will probably have come out with this list or will be coming out with such a list in the very, very immediate (There’s one right behind you. Seriously, take a look) future; I thought I might use this as a good place to get back into the habit of filling up this blog, and thus entertaining my Brain-esque delusions of grandeur. Therefore, I give you:

HARISH’S LIST OF TOP 10 ALBUMS OF THE DECADE!

  1. Kid A ~ Radiohead (2000)
    Yes. The decade’s best album came out in October 2000. Listen to it. 50 times. 100 times. For every day between October 2000 to December 2009. And then hear it again. You’ll still find something new you’d never heard before, you’ll find another possible meaning behind a line you heard a 100 times, or realize that in the second song Thom Yorke doesn’t say “fssshaaaaddddmmaaaaeeee“, but rather: “falling in the shadows at the end of my bed…“. I still don’t know whether he says “Take the money and run” or “Take the money, Enron” in Idioteque. Album of the Decade and perhaps the 2nd or 3rd greatest of all-time.
  2. Get Behind Me Satan ~ The White Stripes (2005)
    I first heard the White Stripes in the year 2003, as almost everybody did, thanks the song ‘Seven Nation Army’. The reason they never became really popular in India after that song can be explained very easily. It’s this album. In 2005, the Delhi Times reported that the White Strobes'(sic.) album Get Behind Satan(sic.) has been nominated for the Album of the Year Grammy. It didn’t win, proving it truly was the Best Album of that Year. The complete abandonment of Jack White’s trademark guitar-work was just the start. The songs were more… complete. I can never explain why I think this album is pure genius. But it just is.
  3. A Rush Of Blood To The Head ~ Coldplay (2002) 
    Before Nimish and I started ripping Viva La Vida a new one, we (and many others) were massive Coldplay fans and had discussions about how Radiohead and Coldplay will be our generation’s equivalent of The Beatles and Led Zeppelin. This album was the reason. Every single song is amazing. Every. Last. One. The surprising thing is that the guy who wrote and sang these songs didn’t get laid till he was 23. Strange.
  4. Amnesiac ~ Radiohead (2001)
    If anyone tells you Kid A sounds sane and soothes them there can only be two reasons. They didn’t hear the album or… they’ve heard this one. A limitless source of twitter posts for your’s truly; Amnesiac takes the controlled Fuck-Rock experiment of Kid A and hands it over to Daffy Duck, Wile E. Coyote and Dr. Frankenstein. I can talk endlessly about how Pyramid Song is perhaps Radiohead’s finest hour or how You And Whose Army should be the background song to a bloody and brutal anime where Samurai Jack goes beserk, but I’ll quote Packt Like Sardines In A Crushd Tin  Box as a precursor to potential, but unlikely, flame wars in the comments thread… “I’m a reasonable man, get off my case
  5. Elephant ~ The White Stripes (2003)
    The best guitar-driven album since… Physical Graffiti? Easily the best guitar work in the 2000s. Listening to Jack White play the guitar is like what Helena Bonham Carter’s character of Marla must’ve felt like when getting fucked by Tyler Durden. It’s brutal and yet feels amazing. Seven Nation Army, Black Math, I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself, Ball and Biscuit, The Air Near My Fingers… The switches, the shifts in tempo, sudden riffs… Man’s a genius. And the album cover is layered and ends in a re-he-heaaally bad joke.
  6. Vampire Weekend ~ Vampire Weekend (2008)
    I feel a weird sense of superiority when I “discover” a band. Vampire Weekend was my most recent one. I first heard them cover ‘Exit Music (For A Film)’ on the OK Computer tribute album that Nimish was giving everyone on his blog. But it took songs like A-Punk, Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa, One and Walcott for me to realize these Ivy League guys were a find I’ll be bragging about for years.
  7. The Marshall Mathers LP ~ Eminem (2000)
    Again, an album that came out a few months into the decade is in this list because… uh… Fuck You. This is when what Eminem said and did was still THE most controversial stuff in the history of western music. But it was also hilarious and quite cleverly written. The moment you realize a song by Dido (which is used to get girls wearing fluffy pink slippers into a good mood) is sampled only to be followed by the words, “Shut up bitch! I’m trying to talk! Hey Slim, that’s my girlfriend screamin in the trunk but I didn’t slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain’t like you cause if she suffocates she’ll suffer more, and then she’ll die too” is when you realize this cracka! has some skill.
  8. Alive 2007 ~ Daft Punk (2007)
    Even I dance when I hear this. Yes, it’s dancing; not a recreation of how someone with ALS looks like when he’s having an epileptic fit. Daft Punk live sounds like such an amazing experience, I wouldn’t mind being surrounded by tens and thousands of people who just think of the duo as people playing music for them to dance to. I’m stronger than that. Or, as these French Robots say, “‘Tronga!” than that.
  9. Toxicity ~ System Of A Down (2001)
    I think the frightening thing about this album is that it released exactly a week before 9/11.  And with lyrics about toxicity in our cities and disorder, disorder, disorder… Damn! But nevertheless, the album is the best metal album of this decade by a light-year. I mean, what’re you going to compare this with? St. Anger?

    Okay, I’m feeling quite hungry and am almost out of time at the cyber place. So I might put up some more comments for 10. Or not.

  10. Gorillaz ~ Gorillaz (2001)

2 Comments

Filed under An Atheist's Gods, Art, Ideas --> Words --> ???, influencing things that I am influenced by, Music, Phil0s0phy, Radiohead, Random, Reviews, Travel and Living

Why I Don’t Have Many Friends

You’ll LOVE this one! Okay, okay… How… This is really funny, alright! How… do you confuse a stupid person?

Err… You… Give him or her some sort of logical problem that their feeble intellect is unable to comprehend?

NO! You put them in a circular room and tell them to sit in a corner! HAHAHAHAHA! GET IT?

That’s seems like a lot of work, doesn’t it? Just the logistics and expenditure way outnumber the potential reward. I mean, you might as well kidnap the two people with whom the stupid person shares the strongest emotional bond; tie them up in two different rooms filled with nerve gas and give the stupid guy or girl an antidote enough to help ONE person. Thus, he or she will have to quickly choose who to help and who to leave to die a slow and painful death! Equal amount of effort; greater reward.

Don’t ruin my awesome jokezzzzz!

Actually, if Nimish was the first person, my eventual answer would’ve been the punchline. Hope someone in that company founded by a bunch of people from Patni Computers with an initial investment of 10,000 rupees that has since grown to become India’s second largest ITES company reads this.

2 Comments

Filed under *cough cough* comedy, Arrgh!!!, Art

Shadows in the East

Darkness is returning to the land of the blogs.

It might have just been a fad which, like most fads, has taken the Indian media by storm a full year after it died all over the world.

But my 6-month forced hiatus was never meant to be permanent.

Wait.

Read.

Double-click on links.

Leave a comment

Filed under Life

Planning my vengeance that I will soon unfold…

Good morning and welcome to Classics Hour!

I’ve been in classics mode while sleeping (yes, I slept early tonight! I know what caused the insomnia now.)

The point is, my dreams were sponsored by a classic rock radio station. Because I have woken up with three songs stuck very distinctly in my head. Rather than just give you the title of the songs with the corresponding advice to “check them out! They rock! LOLZ!”, I’ve decided to do the even more annoying thing at this point; i.e. post these songs here. With lyrics, if you – like me – like to air sing and air guitar along with the song.

I guess anyone familiar with the significance of the title knows the first song.

And a bit of advice: If you are ever in the need to serenade Venom (who’s left a comment here after a 2-year gap?), NEVER use any of these songs. Trust me. Stick to “Words” by Ronan Keating or “Paint My Love” by Michael Learns To Rock. This advice applies across the board to all girls, I would assume.

But FUCK THAT! LET’S ROCK!

Song #1 that featured prominently in the soundtrack to my sleep: Iron Man by Black Sabbath.

Song #2: Carry On Wayward Son by Kansas (a.k.a. The song around which the South Park episode, Guitar Queer-o revolved. And to anyone who has thoroughly enjoyed ‘Rock On’, give this episode a watch!)

Song #3: More Than A Feeling by Boston. (This song refuses to leave my head. It’s been there for more than a day now!)

Why the sudden classic/prog phase? Who knows? A diverse and often eccentric taste in music is something that’s associated quite strongly with me. Tomorrow, I’ll put up a video of this cool Aria I found on youtube.

Till then, raise your index and ‘pinky’ while holding your middle and ring finger to your palm using your thumb. \m/

2 Comments

Filed under "Zapped", Music, Random

I don’t know what my state of mind is as I write this…

I haven’t slept or been truly awake in the last 3 days. It’s weird…

Insomnia gives you:

  • Extraordinary focus on ONE central object with everything that’s in the periphery being blurred beyond distinction. Sometimes even the reverse happens.
  • The feeling that you have a temperature when you actually don’t. You feel sick. Really sick. Yet check your temperature with a thermometer and it’s fine. Throat and nose still hurt like hell, though. Two major dust storms in two days and all my allergies are blooming like flowers in a Swiss spring! Yaaay!
  • A lack of feeling in your body’s extremities. Especially your fingertips, I can barely feel the keypad as I type this. You are also assauged with a profound sense of weakness: physical, mental and emotional.

I want to sleep, but every time I try, I just toss and turn in bed. Time slows down. I thought I was lying in bed for an hour, turns out it was from 3:45 to 4 AM. You’re neither asleep nor awake and to make things worse, you end up confused about the visions you see. You’re asleep enough to dream, but still conscious of the world around you. Thus, dreams and reality collide in a weird, non-poetic and completely senseless way.

I need to sleep. I’m gonna try again. Problem is, even if I manage to sleep successfully this time around, I have to wake up in 4 hours.

3 Comments

Filed under Life

Why I’d make a lousy dad: A webcomic

If only this worked with MY Dad. Maybe... Narendra Hirwani?

NOT trying to copy xkcd... It's just the simplest format.

2 Comments

Filed under *cough cough* comedy, Art, Crap Rating- *****

Canon (and I’m not talking about cameras)

You know you love someone when not only their happiness gives you joy (cliched as it may sound, I believe it’s a litmus test to judge the emotion), but also when their pain hurts you. Of course, when you are the cause of the pain, it hurts MUCH, MUCH more. The expression “it breaks my heart” is not just a figure of speech, it actually hurts in the region around one’s chest. If you think about it, it makes sense. Your brain goes into overdrive, all kinds of chemicals are released and this calls for a sudden increase in blood flow which causes one’s heart to beat ever so fast with the result that it feels as if the internal structure of your anatomy is tearing. Well, the pain aspect is more of a neuro/psychological reaction as the heart beats very quickly during moments of happiness too; but then it feels more euphoric than painful.

The point here is canon. Thanks to a debate at KNC which is forever etched in my memory as the most profitable few hours of my life, I know it’s meaning quite thoroughly. However, the fashionable thing to do in a situation like this is give a dictionary definition andin homage to pseudo-intelligentsia chic, I shall do the same. (there were 14 definitions of the word divided by the context in which it is being used,  so I picked the ones that pertain to my point here)

can⋅on

–noun

the body of rules, principles, or standards accepted as axiomatic and universally binding in a field of study or art.
a fundamental principle or general rule.
a standard; criterion.

The universal, fundamental principle I am talking about here is the desire to not hurt someone whose happiness is essentially the only bright spot in a dark and dreary world. And especially to not hurt them by doing something you misguidedly thought would make an interesting experiment. To quote the almighty,

“If I ever meet myself,” said Zaphod, “I’ll hit myself so hard I won’t know what’s hit me.”

The fundamental, guiding principle that it is your duty to be the cause of someone’s happiness just as they are the cause of yours’. People who defied the canon were heretics. And as we all know, heretics were burnt in village squares as sort of a matinee entertainment show, this was , of course, before the arrival of CGI.

So gather ye wood, villagers!

And to conclude… I’m taking a page out of the canon of the Fox News Network. Their fundamental principle is misquote and misrepresent. Their approach follows the tactic: Display images and videos that are grossly out of context to justify your point.

So, the first half of an otherwise hilarious (and, needless to say, depressing) Perry Bible Fellowship comic. Dedicated to: but of course…

Though in the original comic, the chap gets depressed by looking at the decisions made by the others... I'm not. SO THERE! BOO TO YOU PBF!

Though in the original comic, the chap gets depressed by looking at the decisions made by the others... I'm not. SO THERE! BALLS TO YOU PBF!

can⋅on

1 // // <![CDATA[
var interfaceflash = new LEXICOFlashObject ( "http://cache.lexico.com/d/g/speaker.swf&quot;, "speaker", "17", "15", "“, “6”);interfaceflash.addParam(“loop”, “false”);interfaceflash.addParam(“quality”, “high”);interfaceflash.addParam(“menu”, “false”);interfaceflash.addParam(“salign”, “t”);interfaceflash.addParam(“FlashVars”, “soundUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fcache.lexico.com%2Fdictionary%2Faudio%2Fluna%2FC00%2FC0097000.mp3&clkLogUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fwzqa01oak.jeeves.ask.info%2Fi%2Fb.html&var_t=a&var_d=d&var_s=di&var_c=a&var_ti=1&var_ai=51359&var_l=dir&var_o=0&var_sv=00000000&var_ip=7aa31b8c&var_u=audio&var_proxyUrl=http://dictionary.reference.com/whatzup.html&var_validVars=Array&var_defaultVars=Array”); interfaceflash.addParam(‘wmode’,’transparent’);interfaceflash.write();
// ]]><a href=”http://dictionary.reference.com/audio.html/lunaWAV/C00/C0097000&#8243; target=”_blank”><img src=”http://cache.lexico.com/g/d/speaker.gif&#8221; mce_src=”http://cache.lexico.com/g/d/speaker.gif&#8221; border=”0″ /></a> [kanuhn] Show IPA
–noun

2 Comments

Filed under "Zapped", Arrgh!!!, Life, Pain, This is not a joke!