Category Archives: The few rare Good things that actuallyhappen in my life

Older and, hopefully, wiser

I’m not going to use any gimmicks in this post. No protracted sentences. No loquaciousness. No references only understandable to certain people. It will just be my attempt at simple, straight, hard facts.

I have often complained of how life throws shit in my face. Whined in wangst at fate and the tortures it puts me through. And I did nothing about it.

A mining analogy:

We are all digging for gold, diamonds and other gems (ideological and literal) to enrich our lives. And some of us happen to hit a drainage pipe and end up with a pile of shit in our beloved gold mines. I am one of these people. People try to assist you out of this (in this analogy, literal, but otherwise metaphorical) shithole. And I was no different. Except that I didn’t use them to get out. Rather, I almost pulled them in.

Now, I’m through.

If I whine again, shoot me.

It is time for action.

But first… A few words which I have to make known public.

The people I knew while I wrote this blog over the past 4 years have defined this era of my life. An era that is reaching its end. And they deserve my thanks. I will not hide any details, by the way. If anyone here would like me to; say so and I will give you my id and password for WordPress. Knock yourselves out.

First, and most important:

Monisha Vemavarapu: Venom, SuperMon and a million sobriquets. No one has influenced me as much as she. Currently in London on an exchange program, she is dating a large, oafish, somewhat paranoid, whiny, self-obsessed and neurotic nutbag. I feel that she perhaps deserves better; but she’s a wiser judge of such things than I am. No one I have ever known has ever evolved so much so quickly. When I first was re-acquainted with her, she was a wild, kranti-kari, ultra-modernist pseudo-hippie. She is now one of the most level-headed determined and pragmatically intelligent people I know. I will be frank: When I first met her, both online and in person, I felt I was the superior individual. But I must now concede this title to her. She has proven herself to be a most fascinating person and one who accepts a random destiny with an élan that I wish I possessed. Monisha is one of those people who you just know will not fade quietly into the night, and will leave a mark on the world. I find my vocabulary failing me in my attempts to describe how happy I am to have known, and know, this singularly unique individual. I sincerely hope that we will never become strangers through providence or (more likely) some ridiculous action of mine.

Nimish Batra: After working at Infosys Technologies in Bangalore, Nimish is now pursuing a Master’s degree at the University of Florida. Nimish’s jesting misanthropy was what really resulted in our ever becoming friends. We shared in our fandom for Douglas Adams, I introduced him to Radiohead, and he introduced me to Monty Python. But in our protracted one-downmanship contests, (held periodically over the internet, the telephone and in person) I believe I learnt a lot. And perhaps too much. I appreciate and respect him for a lot of things, but I must say that what applies to me in a large measure applies to you too… Stop whining. Shut up and live. The thing about Nimish that few people get is that he is a genuinely warm-hearted person. Try visiting his home in South Ex, and be amazed at the hospitality shown by him and his family. One part of his brain has the capacity to make him do what’s necessary and drag him across the finish line while the other part is kicking and screaming. As long as that former part dominates the latter, he has nothing to worry about. Genuinely.

Dinesh Kapur: Decay is currently working in Gurgaon for a sustainable ventures firm whose name I can never remember, but it starts with a W. (edit: WinRock! It’s WinRock!) His George Best old-school footballing skills are no longer useful to him in the modern game much like my Karl Marx old-school thinking skills are of no use to me in the modern world. As I’ve often said; this man is a kindred spirit. We’re almost alter-egos of each other. Decay is someone who I can trust to understand my point of view on a matter, usually because he’s been there before. Like Monisha, Dinesh is someone who I feel is destined for far bigger things in life than he can possibly see now. And like Monisha, is an individual in possession of far too many talents, such that it looks unfair to the rest of us.

Anupam Guha: After a successful stint at the Georgia Institute of Technology (where he completed a 2-year Master’s course in a year with a perfect 4.0 CGPA), Guha is currently in Ahmadabad, working for a company that pays him to essentially be their poster-boy. His relationship with Anupama (who I’ve never met properly) was much joked about (my contribution was the idea for “Anupam (1+a)” wedding cards) in college. Oddly enough, it appears to be highly likely that theirs’ will be the first marriage of a friend that I will be a guest of. The conversations on every topic under and beyond the sun were, and still remain, much appreciated. Even the ones where we vehemently disagree. And his conviction to “save” me and show me that humanity is worth saving might just pay off. The path of the wannabe Bushido-ist is fraught with many perils, I joked of him. Well it appears that he intends on making these words an eerie prophecy. Much like a Katana, he has forged his tamahagane worldviews by repeatedly putting it through fire, folding it and beating the shit of it. And that’s why Guha will probably end up as that rarest species of all: A happy, intelligent man who is satisfied with his life and the world he is living in. Or we’ll embark on our plan for revolution. He’ll be Trotsky, I’ll be Stalin… Minus the backstabbing, of course.

Ashwin Murali: After half a year of working 80-90 hour weeks at Citibank, he’s now at his palatial penthouse in Nasik preparing for a second MBA. Ashwin’s greatest trait as a friend has been his ability to listen to me constantly abuse, demote, shout at, vilify and generally insult him for over 3 years with a patient nod and that irritatingly reassuring stupid smile. He set me off on a tangential path in my worldview, for which I still hate him by the way, but it might perhaps lead to a better future. You better hope it does bro.

Akhil Garg: Working at Accenture in Hyderabad, his tryst with the Alagappa family continues as my sister was his HR rep as a trainee. We have both learnt, very late, that we weren’t as bad roommates to have as we thought. Perhaps immaturity came between what could’ve been a far more rewarding friendship for us.

Swati, Priya and Ankur: Swati is working with Wipro in Bangalore while Priya is doing her Master’s at the University of Sussex, I believe. Ankur is doing his Master’s at IIT Kharagpur. I drove you guys away from me in a fit of madness and have regretted that decision since. My yet unfinished college life would have been far better if I had not done that.

Nitesh Bhasin: The entrepreneur and fellow backlogger. We really dump on you more than you deserve. The fact remains that if you hadn’t taken the effort of befriending me in IP University that day, I wouldn’t have gotten to know a lot of the people mentioned here. You’ll either end up in jail or in Forbes. Have fun in Vegas.

M.V. Harish: Another man at Georgia Tech, here’s to perpetuating the “crazy Telugu mofo” image with me. Keep it real with the brothas in the hood in Atlanta. We’ll meet up in a gun shop or seedy beer bar someday.

Many others ought to feature in this list, but I feel it has become so sappy, your monitors might have started leaking already; so wait for another epiphany and moment of emo-ness.

Seriously, I have so many epiphanies; it’s hard to tell which ones are genuine.

Oh, and I almost to mention… This post formally ends this blog. There will be no more posting on Chaosverse any longer. Frankly, I would like some order. Unpredictability and randomness are, as always, welcome; but I’ve had it with the chaos.

I would like to delete this blog, but perhaps will save it. Someday, the people mentioned in this post will look back and this and other posts and laugh at the naivety, stupidity, folly, and immaturity on display.

6 Comments

Filed under "Fluid Exchange", "Zapped", Anything Seriously Anything, Art, As Porf. Frink says..., Be Afraid, be VERY Afraid, Blah Blah Blah, Blogroll, Clarifications, College, Crap Rating- *****, Delta-X, Don't bother about categories, Et Cetera Et Cetera, Gods! What Have I Done!, Ideas, Ideas --> Words --> ???, In an interstellar burst, influencing things that I am influenced by, Life, Phil0s0phy, Pointless rambling, Predictions, Prophecies of Doom, Random, Rants, Relationshits, Same as above, Something or the other, Subsiste Sermonem Statim, Taureum Excretae, The "Gentler" Sex? Yeah Right, The Bullshit Is Out There, The End, The few rare Good things that actuallyhappen in my life, the influence of influencing things that influence me, This concerns YOU!, This is not a joke!, Travel and Living, Unsolicited solicitor of advice, What. The. Hell?, Whathafuck?

cout<<“insert title here”<<;

I can’t think up of an appropriate name for this post. It consists of a lot things I want to say which are there for all to see and some stuff that’s all subtle and “meant for YOUR eyes only” etc. Go figure.

Happy Budday!

An unusual birthday. Unusual because, well, it was a big deal. People took my birthday seriously. Shock! The world is a better place.

Happy Budday!

An ugly beginning. College boys do weird things on their friends’ birthdays. I was pelted with eggs, butter, detergent, cake, chocolate, deodorant, ketchup, shampoo and probably more crap at the stroke of midnight.

Happy Budday!

A surprising beginning. Approximately 8 people called me at midnight to wish me. As usual, however, Harita was the first to do so. But very narrowly. As soon as I picked up her call, I saw another phone call. Thank you and Thanks, everyone.

Happy Budday!

My spoils of budday include:

  • A copy of ‘Brave New World‘ by Aldous Huxley. – Ashwin
  • A new wallet and a box of motichoor laddoos – Swati, Priya and Ankur
  • A T-shirt. – Viji
  • Cash – Harita, Mom and Dad
  • A game controller – Monisha

Happy Budday!

“College” decided to celebrate my birthday by having 3 vivas on the same day. Spent all morning finishing files and looking stupid in front of “professors”. Then I learn that I’ve been debarred in 5 out of 8 theory papers. Reason: No attendance compensation for winning anything anywhere, but you get almost 2 months worth of attendance for losing in the 2nd round of the Intra-My “University” Cricket Championship (they only played 2 matches, but needed 2 months of training).

Happy Budday!

There’s a page that gives the people’s perspective on the author. Here’s the author’s perspective on some people, in recognition of the unexpected outpouring of friendship I have received.

  • Swati Srinivasan a.k.a. The Pink Panther: I may call you the “human radio” amongst other things, but college without you feels oddly empty. You’re my witty sidekick who’s as practical as I am a dreamer and as optimistic as I am a cynic. (If you can call me your 2nd most ideal pet, after a rock, I can call you my sidekick. Clear?).
  • Priyadarshini Murthy: My first impression of anyone is almost always something that gets lost in the garbage dump of my temporal lobes. However, I do remeber the first thing I ever said about her. “Who? That quiet, intelligent one?”. Never fails to surprise, right from scoring unbelievable grades to going with Ankur and me on a week-long backpack and bus trip in Himachal Pradesh. A KFC buddy.
  • Ankur Prabhat Sati: He hates it when people introduce him thus: The guy with a 9.4 GPA! He may be somewhat of an Ayn Rand fan (but not one who believes in “spreading the good word”, thankfully) but his craze for South Park (inflicted upon him by yours’ truly) makes up for it. Priya’s biggest rival and… (dot dot dot) at the same time. A fellow KFC buddy.
  • Ashwin Murali: The Shakespearen fool. The goof. The comic relief character in my life. (What did you expect from me? praise? Hah! That happens a lot dunnit?) Yet another KFC buddy.
  • Dinesh Kapur: A spirit brother of sorts and someone who I think is the next Shashi Tharoor. Even if he wants to be the next this guy. Brimming with talent, his time in the sun is a question of when rather than if.

Happy Budday!

And thank you for the best birthday gift ever. (Yes, yes. I’ve started doing the whole “You” thing as well! There’s a actually a very good reason behind it. A highly logical explanation that makes all of these actions seem perfectly rational and quite intelligent. Unfortunately,  can’t remember what it was.)

Happy Budday!

Anyway, I am being stretched to the limit of my emotional endurance. On one hand, I have reasons to be so happy I ought to be breaking into spontaneous fits of dancing all the time, as opposed to only when I listen to Idioteque. And on the other hand, my “college” is assisting in fucking me over. (I say assisting because I am partly to blame as well. But only partly!)

Happy Budday!

An interesting time in my life, this is.

Happy Budday!

Note: I hate living in Noida. And I hate living in sector unnanchaas even more.

4 Comments

Filed under "Zapped", Blah Blah Blah, College, Et Cetera Et Cetera, Life, Random, Rants, The few rare Good things that actuallyhappen in my life, Why Life Sucks

More Philsophical Muttering…

First and foremost…

A big THANK YOU to the person who inadvertently(?) led me down this path. Keep saying “Random Blah”.

Now that the end-sems are over… I may enjoy a week/month of fake pride before I see my result and wallow in self-pity. A seven-point something? An imaginative ion in a pathetic little college in Hauz Khas (you know, the one behind JNU and opposite MIS?) confused my end-sem exam syllabus with his class test syllabus. That, of course, was NMST, an easy subject. I guess our Fluid Mechanics and Solid Mechanics syllabus was up to some standard. AND we have full-fledged Aerospace Engineering next sem, not the “Elements of AE” we just finished. Aerodynamics, Propulsion Systems, Structural Analysis, Metrology and MATLAB (or is that next year?). But where was I? Ah, yes. NMST. As I said, an easy subject. However, it annoys the hell out of me. I can’t study the damn thing, because I end up getting pissed off.

Why?

Simple. Some of the formulae we have to learn are  NOT BEAUTIFUL! This lead me to In Rainbows and 15 Step.

How Come I End Up Where I Always Started… How Come I End Up Where I Went Wrong?

How come indeed.

I was an insomniac ever since… birth?. I miss sitting alone in bed and just… thinking.

I used to think that questions about the “meaning of life” and the “quest for the purpose behind reason” et cetera were just pseudo-intellectual pieces of crap. The true questions which I elevated to Valhallic (neologism inventor, am I) proportions were stuff that looked like they came from a Stephen Hawking book (one of two of them actually did!). “Why are Relativistic Gravity and Quantum Mechanics Incompatible?”, “What was the origin of the universe?”, “What is the true nature of space, time and chaos?” et cetera. That kinda changed after some time. That’s because I realized that these were castles built on infirm foundations.

Et Cetera, et cetera. Facts for whatever.

But the word Random“… that got me thinking. Science is built on firm, logical reasoning. Randomness or Chaos (Random and Chaos are after all, the same person in different forms. Chaos results from Randomness and there is no such thing as a Random Cosmos) are not ideas that remain restricted to the realm of logical reasoning, but overlap into abstract thought.

Abstract thought is something that no-one has ever understood properly. However, it’s potential has never been tapped to its full limit. What we need is to somehow incorporate the essence of abstract thought and random-chaos into logical reasoning.

I have ideas, but nothing more…

Info-scions will shout “Thief!”. Hail to me, then… MUTHAFUCKA!

And as everybody’s favorite band from Oxforshire said…

Don’t get any big ideas. They’re not gonna happen

to be continued…

6 Comments

Filed under "Zapped", An Atheist's Gods, Avert your eyes!, Be Afraid, be VERY Afraid, Blah Blah Blah, Blogroll, Books, Et Cetera Et Cetera, I need a boot to the head..., Ideas, Life, Phil0s0phy, Quantum, Radiohead, Random, Science, Shameless plaigarism from wikipedia, Taureum Excretae, The few rare Good things that actuallyhappen in my life, Unsolicited solicitor of advice, What. The. Hell?

“Beauty” and Eddies In The Spacetime Continuum

A Snickers bar awaits ye who can fully comprehend the multi-referential nature of the title.

Is it a boon or a curse? That’s something I’ve been asking myself ever since I’ve suddenly hit a purple patch in girls colleges at DU. Yeah, I get to show off my (*cough*) intellect and gab in front of the “Hot ladkis of Dilli da University”, but what’s the point? That doesn’t impress them as much as a face that resembles Daniel Radcliffe. In fact, that doesn’t impress them AT ALL! The latest victim was Kamala Nehru College, Siri Fort Road, New Delhi.

It was a strange coincidence that DK (known variously as Drift King, DicKhead, Donkey Kong, Debate King and on rare occasions as Dinesh Kapur) and I made a clean sweep of the KNC Debate on the 14th of November (14th November = Jawaharlal Nehru’s Birthday… Kamala Nehru is J’Lal’s awfully wedded wife). To be honest, it was a no-contest. The topic, “Canon-formation is irrelevant in a globalized market”, was brilliant (once I understood it!) and I felt kind of sad that it was wasted on such a miserable congregation. What did make the victory sweet was that I turned up there not even knowing what “Canon-formation” meant. Still, we spoke and walked away with the following prizes:

· Best Team

· Best Individual Speaker: Dinesh Kapur (Damn it! His cute looks did me in, I tells you!!!)

· IInd Best Individual Speaker: Me. (I’m in this 2nd place rut. Victory somehow always eludes me!!!)

· Best Interjector: Me, again. (This is a prize I have almost reserved for myself at the few dumbass debates I attend) Note: MS Word doesn’t recognize the word lameass, but recognizes dumbass!

I also did the winships in Creative Writing Contest.
Whilst walking away from KNC, we passed by the Siri Fort auditorium; which brought back memories from 2 years ago (copious amounts of water, glucose, antacid gels, tablets, a high fever and the Rodin’s Thinker Trophy in my shaking hands as we argued with an auto driver to get us back to Gole Market for less than seventy rupees while the “BIG” schools we beat made their exits in air-conditioned buses and cabs).

It was at this time that I extolled my views on “beautiful people” to DK. He refuses to believe that he has a fan club (genuine modesty or him being an asshole? No clue. I’m not good at hints and perceiving things, as opposed to him), but I guess he falls in this category.

Now, the multiple visits to supposedly “HOT” DU girl’s colleges and the experience of watching Fashion Tech students parading around near the Aerospace Engineering lab and the cafeteria has numbed me to physical, human beauty. I still joke about it, alright, but I guess I have a genuine feeling of revulsion w.r.t. ““beautiful people””. It’s simple, really.

A few basic tenets of a “beautiful person”:

1. He/she is born “beautiful” (We are all born beautiful, but they “maintain” themselves such. Hence the direct correlation between money and “beauty”)

2. Since they are born and brought up looking cute, sweet, hot etc… They get pampered and are perennially in the limelight.

3. Hence, a “beautiful person” is used to getting things for no reason apart from their natural looks. Getting as opposed to earning.

4. Hence, the “beautiful person” never felt the need of acquiring a skill set on the basis of which they can build their lives, as they assume that their looks are enough.

5. Which is also why these people get F’d in the A. once they’re 40.

6. The rest of us, however, have had to earn everything we have. Our place in society (by virtue of achievements, rather than looks), our friends (by virtue of personality) etc.

7. So, most (the exceptions are so few in my experience that I in fact say ALL) the “beautiful people” I’ve met are generally quite dumb, self-obsessed, arrogant and highly delusional. And believe me, for a fool like me, a hot face/body/particular anatomical section cannot cover up such major defects. (It works supremely for others, though. Yes, #49, I’m looking at you again! :p)

It also explains why I never was a part of The Gang. This was due to my appearance (yeah, yeah…), my malapropistic tendencies, my refusal to simply accept things without question etc. Basically, I have what people call “an attitude”. Now exactly why that is something wrong is a question I haven’t been able to answer, yet!

Not being a “beautiful person” has been a bummer only in terms of “not getting a chick (or is it chic?)”, but since that’s #5111918 on my priority list (Which is way below “Rob Rupert Murdoch”, just below “Learn the ‘Beat It’ and ‘Smooth Criminal’ dance moves” but above “Kill Bill… O’Reilly”) I guess it really doesn’t bother me.

The upshot, of course, is the moral of the story: I’m building my life on skills that will not desert me naturally one day. Yes, yes. A healthy lifestyle and advances in medicine can take a running jump. Looks go. Deal with it.

10 Comments

Filed under *cough cough* comedy, Art, Be Afraid, be VERY Afraid, Blogroll, Computers and Tech, Debating, Ideas, Life, Money, No, Phil0s0phy, Predictions, Prophecies of Doom, Random, Rants, Relationshits, School, The "Gentler" Sex? Yeah Right, The Bullshit Is Out There, The few rare Good things that actuallyhappen in my life, Travel and Living, Unsolicited solicitor of advice, Why Life Sucks, YOU need a boot to the head!

Radiohead sign up with XL

Thanks again to the unos and only, Greenplastic.

This implies that the actual “physical” release of In Rainbows is imminent. Perhaps by December.

Now, ladies and germs… the motion before the house is, should one spend six hundred or more rupees and buy the CD of an album whose songs you legally downloaded for free. Are Radiohead contradicting themselves? Will I fall for it and buy the CD?

Yes. I think so.

Damn! They are amazing!!!

Leave a comment

Filed under *cough cough* comedy, An Atheist's Gods, Art, Business/Corp., Delta-X, I need a boot to the head..., Internetione', Life, Money, Music, Predictions, Radiohead, Rants, Reviews, role-models, The few rare Good things that actuallyhappen in my life

You know what I hate?

I hate over-pretentious, two-faced hypocrites.

You know what I like? Violence.

You too? Then, friend, go watch…

This is what I like to call a “DUDE!” flick. No plot, no screenplay, no emotions (except anger and lust), no bullshit. Just a whole lotta shootin’, killin’, cussin’ and cheap one-liners too boot!

Shoot ‘Em Up is a bit of an inside-joke. It at the same time, glorifies and mocks Hollywood action flicks. It’s a bit like a Hollywood Rajnikanth flick. If you, like me, go in just to enjoy yourself without giving a flying fuck to direction or any cinematic credentials, you’ll have a ball! I mean, come on! How can you NOT like a movie where the lead character has no name, chews on a carrot all the time and uses the line, “You know what I hate?” throughout the movie! Plus, it features absurdly entertaining sequences like:

  • The guy shoots up a sign of “FAUKNER TRUCKS AND TOOLS” such that it reads “F UK      U” (the “TOOLS” is obscured by a trash can) before muttering “Fuck You, You Fucking Fuckers!” and jumping across a building. The bad guy then shoots up the “tools” sign so that it now reads “F UK      U        TOO“.
  • Clive Owen puts a gun behind the villian’s head, bites a carrot and says, “What’s Up, doc?”
  • “I’m a British Nanny and I’m Dangerous”
  • Mr. Smith: Do you know what I hate?
    Baby’s Mother: [in pain while conceiving] No!
    Mr. Smith: I hate these forty-year-old jack-holes wearing ponytails. That pony tail doesn’t make you look hip, young, or cool.
    [Smith shoots a ponytail henchmen in the head (and blows the ponytail off)]
  • Mr. Smith: [after killing several men while at the same time having sex with Monica Bellucci] Talk about shooting your load. 

Dudes, watch with your mates. Girls, *cough* enjoy Jab We Met. *cough* 

3 Comments

Filed under An Atheist's Gods, Art, Cinema, DUDE!, Life, Reviews, Shameless plaigarism from wikipedia, The few rare Good things that actuallyhappen in my life, Travel and Living, V for Violence, What. The. Hell?

Gotta watch

Beowulf.

I’m REALLY looking forward to watching this movie. I planned on buying a copy of the book (in Old English!). I remember holding the book in my hands at Mildland’s, Hauz Khas and thinking very carefully before deciding… later.

I want to see this movie because:

  • It’s being directed by Robert Zemeckis. (Back To The Future trilogy, Forrest Gump, Castaway)
  • Stars Anthony Hopkins (2nd fav. actor) and Angelina Jolie (*drool)
  • Media going nuts about some supposedly “ground-breaking usage of CGI”.
  • But most importantly… Written by Neil Gaiman (Best Current Sci-Fi Author, in my humble opinion) and Roger Avery (Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction!!!)

Releasing Nov. 16 (Please come to India… please? pretty please?)

1 Comment

Filed under Art, Cinema, Life, Predictions, The few rare Good things that actuallyhappen in my life