Category Archives: The Bullshit Is Out There

The blog is dead, long live the blog

This blog is dead.

It’s passed on. This blog is no more. It has ceased to be. It’s expired and gone to meet its maker. It’s a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If it wasn’t an abstract personal journal on the World Wide Web and hence incapable of physical form, it’d be pushing up the daisies. Its creative processes are now history. It’s off the twig. It’s kicked the bucket; it’s shuffled off its mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible.

THIS IS AN EX-BLOG!

Go here instead.

 

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Older and, hopefully, wiser

I’m not going to use any gimmicks in this post. No protracted sentences. No loquaciousness. No references only understandable to certain people. It will just be my attempt at simple, straight, hard facts.

I have often complained of how life throws shit in my face. Whined in wangst at fate and the tortures it puts me through. And I did nothing about it.

A mining analogy:

We are all digging for gold, diamonds and other gems (ideological and literal) to enrich our lives. And some of us happen to hit a drainage pipe and end up with a pile of shit in our beloved gold mines. I am one of these people. People try to assist you out of this (in this analogy, literal, but otherwise metaphorical) shithole. And I was no different. Except that I didn’t use them to get out. Rather, I almost pulled them in.

Now, I’m through.

If I whine again, shoot me.

It is time for action.

But first… A few words which I have to make known public.

The people I knew while I wrote this blog over the past 4 years have defined this era of my life. An era that is reaching its end. And they deserve my thanks. I will not hide any details, by the way. If anyone here would like me to; say so and I will give you my id and password for WordPress. Knock yourselves out.

First, and most important:

Monisha Vemavarapu: Venom, SuperMon and a million sobriquets. No one has influenced me as much as she. Currently in London on an exchange program, she is dating a large, oafish, somewhat paranoid, whiny, self-obsessed and neurotic nutbag. I feel that she perhaps deserves better; but she’s a wiser judge of such things than I am. No one I have ever known has ever evolved so much so quickly. When I first was re-acquainted with her, she was a wild, kranti-kari, ultra-modernist pseudo-hippie. She is now one of the most level-headed determined and pragmatically intelligent people I know. I will be frank: When I first met her, both online and in person, I felt I was the superior individual. But I must now concede this title to her. She has proven herself to be a most fascinating person and one who accepts a random destiny with an élan that I wish I possessed. Monisha is one of those people who you just know will not fade quietly into the night, and will leave a mark on the world. I find my vocabulary failing me in my attempts to describe how happy I am to have known, and know, this singularly unique individual. I sincerely hope that we will never become strangers through providence or (more likely) some ridiculous action of mine.

Nimish Batra: After working at Infosys Technologies in Bangalore, Nimish is now pursuing a Master’s degree at the University of Florida. Nimish’s jesting misanthropy was what really resulted in our ever becoming friends. We shared in our fandom for Douglas Adams, I introduced him to Radiohead, and he introduced me to Monty Python. But in our protracted one-downmanship contests, (held periodically over the internet, the telephone and in person) I believe I learnt a lot. And perhaps too much. I appreciate and respect him for a lot of things, but I must say that what applies to me in a large measure applies to you too… Stop whining. Shut up and live. The thing about Nimish that few people get is that he is a genuinely warm-hearted person. Try visiting his home in South Ex, and be amazed at the hospitality shown by him and his family. One part of his brain has the capacity to make him do what’s necessary and drag him across the finish line while the other part is kicking and screaming. As long as that former part dominates the latter, he has nothing to worry about. Genuinely.

Dinesh Kapur: Decay is currently working in Gurgaon for a sustainable ventures firm whose name I can never remember, but it starts with a W. (edit: WinRock! It’s WinRock!) His George Best old-school footballing skills are no longer useful to him in the modern game much like my Karl Marx old-school thinking skills are of no use to me in the modern world. As I’ve often said; this man is a kindred spirit. We’re almost alter-egos of each other. Decay is someone who I can trust to understand my point of view on a matter, usually because he’s been there before. Like Monisha, Dinesh is someone who I feel is destined for far bigger things in life than he can possibly see now. And like Monisha, is an individual in possession of far too many talents, such that it looks unfair to the rest of us.

Anupam Guha: After a successful stint at the Georgia Institute of Technology (where he completed a 2-year Master’s course in a year with a perfect 4.0 CGPA), Guha is currently in Ahmadabad, working for a company that pays him to essentially be their poster-boy. His relationship with Anupama (who I’ve never met properly) was much joked about (my contribution was the idea for “Anupam (1+a)” wedding cards) in college. Oddly enough, it appears to be highly likely that theirs’ will be the first marriage of a friend that I will be a guest of. The conversations on every topic under and beyond the sun were, and still remain, much appreciated. Even the ones where we vehemently disagree. And his conviction to “save” me and show me that humanity is worth saving might just pay off. The path of the wannabe Bushido-ist is fraught with many perils, I joked of him. Well it appears that he intends on making these words an eerie prophecy. Much like a Katana, he has forged his tamahagane worldviews by repeatedly putting it through fire, folding it and beating the shit of it. And that’s why Guha will probably end up as that rarest species of all: A happy, intelligent man who is satisfied with his life and the world he is living in. Or we’ll embark on our plan for revolution. He’ll be Trotsky, I’ll be Stalin… Minus the backstabbing, of course.

Ashwin Murali: After half a year of working 80-90 hour weeks at Citibank, he’s now at his palatial penthouse in Nasik preparing for a second MBA. Ashwin’s greatest trait as a friend has been his ability to listen to me constantly abuse, demote, shout at, vilify and generally insult him for over 3 years with a patient nod and that irritatingly reassuring stupid smile. He set me off on a tangential path in my worldview, for which I still hate him by the way, but it might perhaps lead to a better future. You better hope it does bro.

Akhil Garg: Working at Accenture in Hyderabad, his tryst with the Alagappa family continues as my sister was his HR rep as a trainee. We have both learnt, very late, that we weren’t as bad roommates to have as we thought. Perhaps immaturity came between what could’ve been a far more rewarding friendship for us.

Swati, Priya and Ankur: Swati is working with Wipro in Bangalore while Priya is doing her Master’s at the University of Sussex, I believe. Ankur is doing his Master’s at IIT Kharagpur. I drove you guys away from me in a fit of madness and have regretted that decision since. My yet unfinished college life would have been far better if I had not done that.

Nitesh Bhasin: The entrepreneur and fellow backlogger. We really dump on you more than you deserve. The fact remains that if you hadn’t taken the effort of befriending me in IP University that day, I wouldn’t have gotten to know a lot of the people mentioned here. You’ll either end up in jail or in Forbes. Have fun in Vegas.

M.V. Harish: Another man at Georgia Tech, here’s to perpetuating the “crazy Telugu mofo” image with me. Keep it real with the brothas in the hood in Atlanta. We’ll meet up in a gun shop or seedy beer bar someday.

Many others ought to feature in this list, but I feel it has become so sappy, your monitors might have started leaking already; so wait for another epiphany and moment of emo-ness.

Seriously, I have so many epiphanies; it’s hard to tell which ones are genuine.

Oh, and I almost to mention… This post formally ends this blog. There will be no more posting on Chaosverse any longer. Frankly, I would like some order. Unpredictability and randomness are, as always, welcome; but I’ve had it with the chaos.

I would like to delete this blog, but perhaps will save it. Someday, the people mentioned in this post will look back and this and other posts and laugh at the naivety, stupidity, folly, and immaturity on display.

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Either I’m really stupid or…

Stupidity is the new “IN” thing. Apparently there’s a war against the very values that have made the world the wonderful place it can be. (Reason, Logic, Rational thinking, Scientific analysis). Spent some time going through wikipedia articles about various religions, cults, sects and things that claim to be none of the above but are absolutely indistinguishable.

Now, I can imagine the flak I would’ve recieved about this post if anyone actually read my goddam blog. Which is another thing that pisses me off. Why can’t I tell the Emperor that he’s naked? Look at him! He’s not wearing anything!

What pisses me off is how I am expected to treat ALL ideas at par. Which, of course, is utterly impossible. What I fear is a day when a school exam paper will be marked not on the basis of whether or not you are right (which is how it should be…) or whether or not you memeorized and repeated, without understanding, the requisite syllabus (which is how it is now…) but, and this is worse than the current state of affairs, they will marked equally. In a nutshell, you should not thrust your right answer on people as they have their right to be wrong, but should not discriminated against because they are wrong. To summarize the summary: All answers are correct, you intolerant arrogant prick!

We expected the internet and cell phones and the “communications revolution” of the past decade or so would make the world a better place. All that’s happened is we have more than a million (more like a billion) monkeys banging away at keyboards, PDAs, GPRS-enabled cellphones and screaming hysterically into webcams and yet I cannot see anything that resembles: 

Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer/The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,/Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,/And by opposing end them? — To die, to sleep, —

What we do have are, people who say things like “There are 7 chakras in the soul which using the power of magnetism can be aligned to combine with the earth’s magnetic field and unleash hidden power in the soul of the individual”. Gee, wow! And we are to respect their views. Respect my authoritah to tell you this:

“We believe in equality for everybody and tolerance and all that gay stuff; but dude, fuck you” ~ Stan Marsh

The best bit is that the people I know who believe in this shit the most were guys who used scored above 90% in their 10th and 12th boards. It’s us late70s, early 80s (percentage marks, not the era) bastards who acknowledge that Science Works. Science is the answer.

There’s no point, really. Me expressing not a personal view, but something that has been verified either by the process of scientific testing or by the fact that it’s happened every pico-second (0.0000000000001 seconds) for the last 15 billion years (473040000000000000 seconds) is being on different degrees: intolerant, an asshole, a smartass, judgemental (…)

This rant will continue. Right now, I have the strange ineffable feeling that someone’s standing behind my right shoulder and that very bad things are going to happen to me.

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Prufung

(No reference to the DCE Quiz. And I’m sorry I missed Panache, had far more urgent appointments that day. Sounds like ’twas this major quizzing party replete with all the geekery one would expect at these events.)

Yeah, it’s those things again! Don’t… bother… asking…

Thought quite a bit yesterday. About having opinions. About being a “fundamentalist intellectual” or “an asshole with half a brian cell”. I said a lot. Remember it, but won’t repeat it here. Let’s just put it this way:

There is truth. By its very definition, it is absolute. But the “right” thing or the “cool” thing to do is acknowledge that there can be various truths for various people. This funda can only be applied in certain areas. (I may say that the statement: “Pete Sampras is a better Tennis player than Roger Federer” is true. Some might disagree and say it is false.) These are areas where there is no actual truth. There’s a word for such areas, but as it’s quite late and Ich Haben Einen Deutsch Prufung tomorrow; I guess my mind is being vague rather than precise. So it goes. But for someone to tell me that, “So? He believes 2+2=5! What’s the big deal! Who are you to say that 2+2=4?” is… so fucked up that I can’t say it any other way except that is UTTERLY AND COMPLETELY FUCKED!

And yet, this exactly what is happening everywhere. 

It doesn’t matter. Nothing does. 

I may be paranoid, but not an android. 

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Filed under Crap Rating- *****, Ideas, Life, Random, Rants, The Bullshit Is Out There, Why Life Sucks

Bad News…

I wasn’t killed in the bomb blasts at CP, Karol Bagh or GK. Though I was planning to go there, I didn’t because I was am broke.

I’m just in the process of understanding a very basic rule of living.

Stop fighting the system. There is no such thing.

Maybe.

“Midnight in a Perfect World” and “What Does Your Soul Look Like part 1” – DJ Shadow. (from the album Entroducing…) Need to get that album. Stat!

After the phenomenal weirdness and success of Nude, Radiohead’s releasing Reckoner to be remixed by YOU and me. (well, not me actually. I have not the software, time or requisite knowledge)

I don’t blog for a month and there’s a bomb blast, a financial crisis and the end of the world. Sheesh!

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Fanboy-ism and getting F’d in the A.

Define Fanboy. Here you go. 

I have spent quite some time trying to figure out why on earth do I exhibit selective fanboy behavior. Simply put, there are things, people who I admire and/or love with the ferocity of a LoTR fan who surgically gets his ears lengthened. The question in my mind was: WHY? I have always attributed fanboyism to the inability to deal with life by oneself. The way to deal with situations in life is quite simple: Where you have experience, use it. Where you don’t; be as honest, clear and rational as possible. Wonder how often I have actually followed this.

The point is, if there is one, that I am a fan of a few things. They include:

  • Radiohead: An alternative-experimental-electronic-lush-soft-hard-medium rare- jazz-classical-(…)-band from Oxforshire, UK.
  • Douglas Noel Adams: Born in Cambridge, UK in 1952; he was an author, radio show producer, orator, spokesperson for Apple, wildlife enthusiast, Pink Floyd fan etc etc. Wrote things like ‘The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy’, ‘Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency’ and ‘Last Chance To See’.
  • JRR Tolkein: Author of the Middle Earth series of fantasy novels such as ‘The Lord of The Rings’ trilogy, ‘The Hobbit’ and ‘The Silmarillion’.
  • Monty Python’s Flying Circus: A sketch-based absurdist comedy show that aired in the early 1970s. Known for pushing the boundaries of what was then regarded as acceptable and sketches where the comedy lay in the sheer randomness of what was happening.

So… WHY dost thou admir’st these men so much, Harish?

Because Radiohead have songs where the music resonates with the sounds buzzing through my brain. I can actually discern the meaning behind every note of every instrument in almost every song and they all resonate in my mind. The lyrics seem as if Thom Yorke has been following me around and somehow listening to my thoughts. Some are quite straightforward:

Limb by limb and tooth by tooth
Tearing up inside of me
Every day every hour
I wish that I was bullet proof

Whereas others are more subtle and actually resemble the chaotic yet tranquil bullshit ringing through my ears:

There are two colours in my head
There are two colours in my head
What, what is that you try to say?
What, what was that you tried to say?
Tried to say.. tried to say..
Tried to say.. tried to say.. tried to say…

Everything, everything, everything..
Everything in its right place

It’s not irony. It’s much, much deeper.

Douglas Adams has been criticized as someone who writes one-liners and then fillers in between to make a book. Whatever the truth behind that, he has come up with lines which, when I read them, I feel as if an invisible hand has reached into my skull and pulled this thought and left it on the page of the book I’m reading.

  • “My capacity for happiness,” he added, “you could fit into a matchbox without taking out the matches first.”
  • The regular early morning yell of horror was the sound of Arthur Dent waking up and suddenly remembering where he was.
  • “If I ever meet myself,” said Zaphod, “I’ll hit myself so hard I won’t know what’s hit me.”
  • “Life,” said Marvin dolefully, “loathe it or ignore it, you can’t like it.”

As for Tolkein, the Pythons and other people I’m a fan of… sometime later. I’m not in the mood.

Life, it seems, is getting fucked over. I haven’t experienced even the slightest tinge of happiness for more than two weeks.

Is it worth it? I mean, honestly? When absolutely nothing goes your way and everything and everyone decides to kick you square in the nuts? This is when people usually turn to something (religion, alcohol, drugs) or someone (friends, family etc). Me? I turn around. Hence the title. I guess I shouldn’t expect to find someone or something to comfort me in times of seething pain, hatred, disappointment and doubt.

This isn’t the first time something like this has happened, but it affected me in a very layered manner. ‘Twas merely the act of opening Pandora’s Box. I seem to be shrouded in a haze of confusion, disappointment and frustration and as a consequence, I can’t see very clearly.

There always comes a time when one must choose between contemplation and action. This is called becoming a man.  ~ Albert Camus

 

 

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Why I shouldn’t have a camera phone

A horse stranded on the DND. Cars, bikes and buses rushed past it at speeds of a 100kmph, and this thing just ambled along at it’s own pace.

BSODtard!

Oh Computer, My Computer! At first I thought my Windows Xp CD is fucked, but I tried running Ubuntu and that didn’t work either. Then I realized, to my utmost consternation, that my CPU is damp from the humidity. Wunderful, ja?

Dark clouds on the horizon near the sector-44 campus of my “university”. Taken as I made my way to college to begin a new semester. Thanks for the warning.

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