The presence of an absence

I’m bad at pretty much everything, but I’m exceptionally bad at social activities. I have always been under the impression that people prefer the presence of my absence. It’s not dissimilar to the sequence from Black Adder the Third, where Baldrick explains why he thinks his first name is “sod off“.

When I was a child and playing in the gutter, I used to say to the other snipes “Hello, my name’s Baldrick,” and they would reply, “Yes, we know. Sod off, Baldrick!”

This is usually okay with me. But the strange bit is when I start receiving evidence to the contrary. So, the idea that the reaction (not exactly prevalent everywhere, but prevalent nevertheless) to the presence of my absence is not indifference but rather a very slight amount of sadness is… surprising, gratifying and also frustrating.

Surprising because… Hell, I never expected people to miss me! It’s such new and unusual territory!

Gratifying. That’s obvious isn’t it?

Frustrating… Because it is not only one-sided. And more importantly, WHY THE FUCK AM I ALWAYS SHORT ON CASH?!

This is new. I miss someone pretty badly. And I’m doing nothing to alleviate the situation. Yeah, ain’t I just great? Goddam it, I feel so inadequate right now. It’s pathetic, pitiful and also true. What I need is a vacation! Ankur’s not enjoying Himachal, so I guess I better keep away. Question is, where do I go? A lot of places come to mind: Leh, Agra, Varanasi, Hyderabad, Vishakapatnam et cetera. 

This weekend is perhaps the best one I’ve had since the end of May! Today was a great afternoon spent in the company (cum panis heh heh heh) of friends, rum, butter chicken and a joke involving a girl mispronouncing the last word in the sentence “I want a Large Coke”; whereas tomorrow is some free Pizza and Beer at Gurgaon. After that, it’s back to the old charade of summer training. Sec-37 to sec-125 and back.

As for the bloc and this thing here… I guess I’m going to stick around and try to beat it. The problem is that I do not truly understand why I blog.

3 Comments

Filed under "Zapped", Blah Blah Blah, Blogroll, Crap Rating- *****, Life, Pointless rambling, Random, Rants, This concerns YOU!, Whathafuck?, Why Life Sucks

3 responses to “The presence of an absence

  1. Q: Who is fishing for compliments now?

    A: The bum who writes on this blog !!

    Cease the self-loathing, its not in vogue anymore !!

  2. Looks like your touch might be coming back .. Lets wait and see ..

  3. I do not fish for compliments! I hunt.

    My touch returneth? I do not think so. But thanks anyway.

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