A Dialogue of Shortcomings

“I came in my shorts”

“You WHAT?

“I came in my shorts, alright?”

“Jesus Fucking Christ, dude! How? Why? What the…”

“Listen, it was the most embarrassing moment of my life. I was humiliated in front of her!”

“But… you knew. You can’t claim the surprise factor did you in!”

“I didn’t know we were going to do it right then! I would’ve been prepared! I don’t know what to do, man! I mean… I didn’t even know!”

“But you said she’d been giving you hints!”

“Yes, I knew she wanted to… but I didn’t now right now! She should’ve told me what she had in mind on the phone, at least!”

“What exactly happened?”

“Well, she called me over. I didn’t know what was going on, or I would’ve done something. I turned up there and saw her… God, she looked amazing! She was wearing this red dress, the kind you usually see on Bond girls. And it made her look so hot! I mean, every feature of her body was captured flawlessly by it. She looked stunning, like a vision, a goddess. There was nothing in the world that could’ve possibly distracted me from the sight of her. I was so enamored that I didn’t notice…”

“Don’t tell me that… Oh, no! She didn’t point it out to you!”

“Yes. She did. She looked at me and then looked down and noticed. She didn’t say a word. But from the look in her face I knew what had happened. She then finally told me in a voice so cold I was surprised that someone so beautiful could muster such fury, ‘You’ve come in your shorts’. There was something in the deadpan way she said that and I knew… her love for me died that very instant.”

“Now that’s not fair! She can’t not love you just because you came in your shorts! It’s an honest mistake!”

“Not in her eyes. Then…”

“Then what?”

“The concierge of the restaurant arrived at the spot. He took a look at me and gave me one of those looks of snobby distaste.”

“Dude! This IS embarrassing!”

“Yeah. First he didn’t say a word. I think he was trying not to laugh. Oh, how stupid I must’ve looked! When he did finally open his mouth, all he did was remind me that in a restaurant of this class, you MUST wear trousers or you won’t be allowed inside. Even jeans weren’t allowed!”

“And you went there in your shorts!”

“Dude! I didn’t know! She’d told me for some time that we’ll be going there, but when she called me, she just told me the street. Not that ‘We’re going to the restaurant’. Jesus!”

“It’s alright, dude. Apologize and take her there. And this time… SUIT UP! Let’s just hope that this doesn’t affect your sex life!”

“Yeah. I’ll do that! And dude, stop correlating everything with sex. Fucking immature douche!”

1 Comment

Filed under *cough cough* comedy, Crap Rating- *****, Ideas, Random

One response to “A Dialogue of Shortcomings

  1. Dude!! What wrong with shorts, anyway??

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s