Pwn maadi

i keep the wolf from the door
but he calls me up
calls me on the phone
tells me all the ways that he’s gonna mess me up
steal all my children
if i don’t pay the ransom
but i’ll never see him again
if i squeal to the cops

In my case, it’s a Punjabi Infosissy. But this bit of xenophobic (sarcastic, perhaps. but I really don’t care) stupidity shall not go undocumented!

Scene: A phone call. Delhi-ite in Bangalore to a Bangalorean/Hyderabadi in Delhi.

TBB: I’m addicted to ghee roasts! All I eat everyday are ghee roasts!

THF: YOU BASTARD! You complain about eating ghee roasts all the time when I have to survive on chole kulcha! I spit me ‘zem all, ‘zis North Indian cuisine of yours.

TBB: Chole Kulcha at that place in South-Ex is better than Ghee Roasts anyday!

THF: A likely answer! Try something different, then.

TBB: Like what?

THF: Try Bisi Bele Bath. It’s one of my favorites.

TBB: What?

THF: Bisi Bele Bath.

TBB: What the fuck is that?

THF: Bisi = hot. Bele = dal. Bath = rice. It’s really good, trust me.


TBB: You’re trying to get me beaten up, aren’t you? You think by making me ask for something in Kannad (with punjabi accent) or Tamil whose meaning I don’t understand, you can get me beaten up or laughed at or both. Well, guess again! I’m sticking to my ghee roasts! If I wanted “hot dal rice”, I would fall sick. I only eat “hot dal rice” when I’m sick.

THF: Bravo. *clap… clap… clap*

By the way, since you put all your trust in human beings… here you go.


Filed under *cough cough* comedy, Be Afraid, be VERY Afraid, Blah Blah Blah, Clarifications, Rants, Scousers, Screw you..., Whathafuck?, YOU need a boot to the head!

6 responses to “Pwn maadi

  1. Hmm. It would seem you have a while to go before you understand the difference between a private joke and a bloggable “incident”.

    Let’s add to that the fact that you misused xenophobia, and had the temerity to call me xenophobic (this is ME we were talking about, remember?).

    Well if you don’t appreciate conversations with me, just say so.

    No point doing this the long way.

    Bye bye.

  2. THF

    Emotional blackmail will take you nowhere! You don’t mess with Bisi Bele Bath!

  3. Ah damn. It’s the most amazing thing!

  4. Officially : No comment.
    Unofficially: (This was the comment).

    THF: All that aside, you *again* missed a trick with “emotional blackmail.” First you mistake paranoid self deprecation for xenophobia, then this. I dunno whether you’re slanderous (!) or just plain playing stupid hoping to be seen as funny. Not your A-game boy.

    Stupid emo geeks.

    Monisha: Sure? Because if it’s not, when I come back to Delhi, the pair of you get to eat stuff cooked in a hospital. The best aloo-bonda EVER is now extinct, and their new catering staff hurt my bonda-love. 😥 So you shall feel the pain.

    00.42, Mar 11.

  5. Hell yeah! 0042 hours, March 11, 2008.



    And no matter what the heck you say about this, or about my H2G2 fanboyness…

    (You can assume I said something suitably noir.)


  6. Go to Holy Family Hospital. On a trip. Wokay? Don’t be sick or anything like that, just go there.

    Find the cafeteria. Ask for a bonda.

    They used to serve the *best* bonda EVER possible in the world. I have confirmation from many unkils & aantis bachha-logs. It’s true.

    When you eat it, you will cry at how bad it is. Then think of how good it must have been once.

    That’s how I felt after BBB. 😥 Totally not my taste. And you people overhyped it. I missed ghee roast for it. *sniffle*

    Let Towel Day come. I shall take over the world before sunrise. Or eat a goddamned fantastic lunch. I hope…

    Getting a towel printed?

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