Further Unpleasantness

You look so tired-unhappy,
bring down the government,
they don’t, they don’t speak for us.
I’ll take a quiet life,
a handshake of carbon monoxide.

Missed DK’s quiz. He’s pretty peeved, judging from a message telling me to “go F yourself if you’re still passed out”. The reason: I got wasted/stoned/piss drunk. Seven hundred and fifty milliliters of Vodka. Horrible. I woke up with the grand-daddy of all hangovers and with the taste of vomit in my mouth and smell of the same substance permeating all over the room. Saturday was all about cleaning the mess up.

This is final: NO MORE DRINKING! EVER!

In other news, I have a hectic quiz schedule coming up. There’s a quiz at NIFT on the 7th, (Venom’s gone underground to evade further detection. Smart move, if you ask me.Not before she broke the record for tolerating me for the longest period of time. Good on ya!) and something else on the 8th, can’t remember what, and a cricket quiz on the 9th. Plus, there’s Qutopia, the St.Stephen’s Quiz Fest coming up. Hoping that the National Science Fest hasn’t already occurred. Gotta check up with No El about that one. And my attendance is in the mid 60’s.

Saw some BAD movies lately. American Pie 6(or was it 7?). Stupid, pointless vulgarity. Wild Things 3, another terrible movie that has nothing besides a lesbian sex scene for 14-year old horny sonsofbitches to jerk off to, the Saw movies – sadistic tortures that aren’t really clever or interesting – and… Family Guy!

So, according to some people, I am not Ethan Hawke from Before Sunrise… rather I’m Stewart Griffin (“Stewie”) from Family Guy. Examples?

“Come on, Stewie, In…The…Pool”

“No! I don’t want to die, I want to live! LIVE!”

Or,

“Come on Stewie, don’t be afraid. It’s just water, it’s not going to bite.”

“Shut Up! I know it’s not going to bite, stupid. What a stupid thing to say. You drown in it, you moron, it doesn’t have to bite you!”

Great!

Of course, a hangover didn’t quite stop me from commenting on a Mensa discussion on religion. I’m not sure whether to expect some anti-Atheist backlash, some “Yeah, me too!” or the worst reply of all, “There’s God in every beautiful flower in spring, the laugh of a baby child and in the sweetness of chocolate” followed by some lameass story about how someone who searched for God found him in something mundane and everyday.

God-damn, I’m never drinking again!

And, if I were ever to testify in court, what will they do? They really can’t expect me to lie when I’ve sworn on a religious book. There’s really no mechanism to prevent Atheists from lying under oath (not that swearing on the Bible, Koran, Gita, Torah et cetera ever stops religious types from perjury), except trusting their word. Hurrah for the Judiciary! They trust Atheists! Hurrah, I tell you!

I need coffee. It’s Sunday. I got drunk on Friday, and Arrgh! Stop Shouting! WHO THE HELL IS MAKING THAT NOISE! Wait, that’s the sound of me typing. Good God!

NEVER DRINK AGAIN!

Ow…

Edit: I’m typing this in a cyber cafe next to a girl who, it appears, is trying out for Miss India this year. I’m also resisting the overwhelming urge to:

  1. Laugh
  2. Wish her all the best
  3. Do both, in that order
  4. Do both, reverse the order

1 Comment

Filed under Anything Seriously Anything, Arrgh!!!

One response to “Further Unpleasantness

  1. Harish Drinks Vodka
    By Nimish Batra.

    There’s a hundred laughing voices in my head,
    And a hundred pointing hands,
    And all of the voices laugh,
    And the hands point to you!

    _Finis_

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