Award-winning stuff!

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.

I’m working on an entry. Strangely enough, I am at my creative best worst during Manufacturing Machines, Metrology and Aircraft Structures lectures. Hmm…

Here’s a first draft of my little piece of… (dot dot dot)

“TIMMAH!”, I said while sighing softly. The monotony of existential questioning left me dejected and feeling inadequate about myself and my place in the universe. Questions about what role do I play in the grand scheme of things gnawed at me, and they weren’t alone. For look! They were being accompanied by rats, who were gnawing in a similar manner at my gangrene leg and whilst they feasted on the fruits of my critically insufficient blood suppl, I feasted on the vivid diaspora of colors that caught the eye in a bright display, splendidly contrasted in a manner that can only occur due to the most artistic mixing of parts of the human anatomy, bodily fluids and infection-seeking maggots that reach beyond such meaningless emotions as pain, suffering and basic survival instinct, to instead render to a man’s eye a sudden feeling of transcendental achievement and fill his day with a fleeting sensation of happiness. “TIMMAH!”, I sighed again, happy this time as I looked at this sight and felt a warm glow kindle inside me; perhaps life isn’t so bad after all.

Watch out, Literary Review magazine’s Bad Sex In Fiction Award! You’re next!

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Filed under *cough cough* comedy, Avert your eyes!, Be Afraid, be VERY Afraid, Blah Blah Blah

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