Life, the Universe and a short attention span

  • “Hey Joe…. Where the fuck are you going with that gun in your hand??? I said, Hey Joe…. Where the fuck are you going with that gun in your hand??? I’m gonna shoot my lady… I caught her messing around with another man”
  • “Everyyyythiiiiiiinnnnngggggg…. Evvveeerrryyythhiiiinnngggg’s In It’s Riiiiiight Place. Riiiiiight Place. Everrryythiii…. Iiiiiiinnnnnn…. Nnnnnn….gggggg…. Every-….. nnnnn…..”

The loss of sensory inhibition. One of the most amazing feelings that you will ever experience. Add Jimi and Radiohead and you’re in temporary temporal heaven.

Yesterday I woke up sucking a lemon. I know I shouldn’t, but hell… ‘twas enough. ‘Twill do.

Girls. Allow me to paraphrase the great Homer Jay in saying, “Feminine gender. The cause of and cure to all of life’s problems.” Nineteen years where I was only a spectator to the great drama of relationships went by with me believing that there are bigger things in life. Now as an active participant in this charade, I still feel that there are bigger things in life, but having trouble in the realm of relationshits coupled with a GPA that’s two point eight points below where it ought to be for your ability AND the fact that you’re nineteen and still haven’t mastered Gauge Theory, Abelian Group Theory, the Standard Model, Supersymmetry and the Higgs Mechanism and the compounded pain in the anal orifice that none of this is in your academic syllabus… yup it’s the final icing on the shit-cake that’s your life.

Ashwin tries to make me feel better by pointing out what’s good in my life. Buddy… being in Mensa and having a supposedly 99% percentile IQ, coming second repeatedly in quizzes and minor debates and being a whorehouse of worthless intelligence counts for dick when you’re a slacker seven-point-something B.Tech in Aerospace Engineering from Amity University.

I see dead people. They’re everywhere. Most of them don’t know they’re dead.

Can I dare to say that I feel like Winston Smith + Yossarian + (alright, Ankur…) Howard Roark?

Missed the selection round for NatGeo Genius- India. Was due to start in Gurgaon at around the time I woke up. By 1530, I was at Lado Sarai, but there was no chance of me making it. 3rd semester’s almost up. Didn’t go well AT ALL. Planning to move to the hostel next year. Most of my friends are there, anyways.

Watching ‘Van Wilder’ and ‘Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj’ along with videos of Russell Peters, Gabriel Iglesias and Dave Atell. Guys, if you ever find a girl who simultaneously enjoys movies like Van Wilder, 300 and Good Will Hunting… don’t lose her. Ever.

Saw Beowulf. Huge disappointment. Great CGI, though.

The problem with my promised post on relationships and sex et all… wrote it on the computer that’s in the Aerospace Engineering Lab (which attracts the gaze of students from the Fashion Tech department as they go from the Garment Construction Lab to the cafeteria and back). Server was down, so couldn’t post it. I come back the next day and poof! Vanished without a fucking trace!

I’ll try again, though. Next post, promise.

2 Comments

Filed under "Zapped", *cough cough* comedy, Art, As Porf. Frink says..., Be Afraid, be VERY Afraid, Blogroll, College, Crap Rating- *****, Film, Ideas, Life, Random, Rants, Relationshits, The "Gentler" Sex? Yeah Right, The Bullshit Is Out There, What. The. Hell?, Why Life Sucks

2 responses to “Life, the Universe and a short attention span

  1. There is another song, belongs to the folklore of our exalted land, equally mesmerizing – it goes something like this, ahem –

    Oo Jantia kaha ja ria hai o latth le ke ? Main bolu, Oo Jantia .. b&^%c*(#d kahaan ja ria o latth le ke ? Apni bhaisan ke khabar lene ja ria hu, bhaag gayi mangal ke bael ke sang .. tapers off to a glorious chorus of moohs and oohs .. don’t ever dare to think.

  2. Must… have… song…

    Please…

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