- Woke up. At noon. Brushed my teeth.
- Went to Noida’s “hip and happening” sector 18 market.
And did nothing in between. I haven’t shaved in over a week and went, on a saturday afternoon, to the favorite joint of “today’s youth” in this here satellite city in a a very loose pair of pants and a dirty T-shirt. I couldn’t believe the looks I was getting. 😈
To pass the time, BITCH and I (Uncle is in Meerut) decided to check out (bit myself very hard while chewing gum right now…) a new amusement park (Entertainment City or World of Wow or whatever the hell it’s called) that’s opened up behind the Great India Place in sector 18. An entrance fee of 275 rupees!!! And only 7 rides. However, since my only experience of amusement parks were the local fairs of my childhood (where whilst I was in a roller coaster, I swear to God, I saw a couple of bolts fall out from the side) I cannot be a good judge of pricing.
The first ride was good. The popular hindi abuse regarding incestuous relations with a sibling were ripe in the air in the duration of the ride. We proceeded to a couple of good rides (centrifugal force thingy and bumper cars) and so far, so good. The next ride was one where the damned contraption made multiple 360-degree vertical spins approximately 5 stories in the air. I sat in iot for 2 mins and six turns at 3-storey before my brain started acting weird and had to play party-pooper by asking them to stop the ride. Bitch never quite forgave me for that and now firmly believes that I’m a yellow-bellied coward. This, despite his “Homophobe, if I don’t make it out of this… Tell her that I love her, man.” before the ride.
The next ride was similar, but a lot less brain-mangling and hence I could actually enjoy it. The last ride (no.7 was not for people of either of our 6-foot above 60kg builds) was the ever-popular masochist drop tower. More weird stares followed after the ride, the reason being that while everyone else was shouting “AAAAAA!!!!” or “FUUUUCCCCKKKK!!!” or “MUUUMMMMYYYYYY!!!!”, I was shouting, “PERCEPTION IS REALITY! I CHOSE NOT TO PERCIEVE THIS REALITY! WHAT I DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE IS NOT REAL, HENCE I CHOSE NOT TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE FEAR FROM THIS FALL! I’M NOT HERE!! THIS ISN’T HAPPENING!” And the fact that I kissed the ground when the ride stopped.
I guess everyone who reads this will henceforth always agree with my roommate’s statement, “Dude, you are a wuss.” Maybe I am. But… <insert counter-argument here>
This lead me to wonder… the next person to say that I’m not boring will feel pain the glaivin. I find being hurled up, down and all around the fabric of space-time a non-enjoyable activity and my idea of a “good time” is a soft couch, rock music, coffee and a good book. If that makes me a wuss/wanker in (a mindless insult as junkies have a tendency to wank more) or, as I have always believed, BORING… so be it.
And yet again, a good joke wasted. The bumper cars looked more like wheelchairs than cars and I shouted “TIMMAH!” whenever I hit someone. No reaction at all. None. Why do I even bother?