I guess it is vital to do contradictory things.
I have to be subtle and get the point across loud and clear.
I have to be truthful and not say too much.
Most importantly, I must NOT confuse, confound, puzzle, boggle, blabber, beat around the bush, irritate and repeat myself.
To be as succinct as possible, I’m feeling kinda low.
- I’m in a level of emotional uncertainty that is unparalleled in my entire existence.
- I’m insecure and know exactly why I’m insecure (but the why is something for me to know and you to not give a damn about). I am, however, confused about why should the nameless fear make me feel insecure.
- As stated before, I’m a novice whilst most people got past this years ago. On the other hand, I got past issues most people will have years into the future, right now.
- I guess I’m acting like an Asshole.
The solution to this was found by my roommate, Akhil.
Two bottles later and I was singing songs from ‘The Bends’ out loud. Especially ‘Black Star’. Subtle, right? (Special mention: Ashwin Murali, nice bartending. Liked what you did with the apple+vodka combos)
Then, the talking began. This phase mostly involved the usage of words and phrases like, ”Fuck! Man! Fuck!”, “I’m screwed!”, “you’re screwed!”, “I’m not drunk!”, “No! I’m not drunk!!”, “*evil laugh* I’m so fucking drunk!!!” etc.
It ended with a bucket of water on my face and some “Screw you! What do you know?”.
It is said that when drunk, people react in two ways:
- Quiet. In a corner, saying nothing.
- Loud. Gibberish flows.
And in the emotional category, there comes:
- Happy and grinning/laughing to themselves.
- Sad. Discontent, depressed and infuriated.
My state was quite obvious, but just to get the point across clearly… I put Marvin to shame.
And that’s that.
Before the customary derogatory comments come in, I’m stopping. For good.
I just wanted to get drunk once to see what it feels like. It merely opens you up. You say stuff you’d rather not say, and contrary to my hopes, it did nothing to any creative talents. My mind did not open up like a flower and words came, but they were terrible. So, there you go. No drinking.
Until the next time?
P.S: The article claims that the best concentration is 38%. I was swigging 45% neat.