How to: Waste a day. Totally.

Day-wasting is an art. You might think, “Oh, it’s easy, I do it all the time.”

Wrong!

A day is truly wasted if you:

1. Gain nothing from it. Nothing. Not even experience. You have absolutely NO chance of getting anything in return for your efforts. Not even in a wild and sudden turn of events.

2. You spend a lot of:

a. Time. Hours in going to the main location, say, the University of Delhi. Bus from sector-41, Noida to sector-37, bus from sector-37 to sector-18, bus from sector-18 to Barakhamba road, metro from Barakhamba road to Vishwavidyalaya (that’s ‘University’ in Sanskrit-esque hindi). Minutes in finding the place, say, the DU branch of a particular bank that says it offers student accounts there. You’ve checked and double-checked that this isn’t only for DU students. You’re told that it’s near FMS. It’s not. Check 2(c). When you finally reach, it takes seconds for them to tell you, “I’m sorry if you’ve been misinformed, but student’s accounts are ONLY FOR students of the University of Delhi.” (This isn’t actually what they said. It was ruder and less eloquent.)

b. Money. Transport and more importantly, water. You’re walking in 313K heat and don’t want to suddenly see spots and everything around you going black. Also, rickshaws to places you don’t know. I understand that it’s manpower and that they’re poor. That’s why I don’t haggle, but the bastards rip you off.

c. Effort. Walking from Vishwavidyalaya to FMS (via Ramjas College, Kirori Mal College (whose alumni includes Amitabh Bachchan and Sheila Dikshit), University of Delhi Women’s Hostel, the “Lover’s Park” etc.). This is, I reiterate, in 313K heat. Then when you reach the bank branch near FMS, they say this isn’t the University of Delhi branch… that’s on Mall Road. You don’t know where Mall Road is, so you take a rickshaw that charges 25 bucks. Turns out it’s next to St. Stephen’s College (on the other side, not the one that faces Hindu College). Point 2(b) proved. Refer to point 2(a). You walk from Mall Road to Vishwavidyalaya.

3. You’re can’t pass the time because:

a. You don’t have an MP3 player/i-Pod.

b. Though your cell phone plays radio, all nine stations are playing either Himmesh, Kareena Kapoor’s latest item song or something equally as revolting (I doubt if such stuff exists) Even the AIR Gold channel’s suddenly not playing any Rafi or R.D.Burman, but are instead playing what I’m sure are vinyl discs of 1940-50s stuff. I like some oldie songs (hence the Rafi/R.D.Burman thing), but not such ancient stuff.

c. You DO have a walkman (what? Those things?) and a tape of U2’s ‘Zooropa’, but the batteries are through. No place has any. (htf!)

4. You return feeling miserable.

Sigh!

5. You type stuff like Sigh! Without actually Sigh!-ing in real life.

Maybe I’m feeling down because of this:

“Seems a bit rough on the old rhino as well,” said Dirk.
“And now here’s another one.”

Why?
He was only 49.
Schmucks, assholes and dickheads live to a hundred! Why him at 49!

U2 is soothing when you’re down. Try it.

1 Comment

Filed under Art, Ideas, Life, Random, Rants, Travel and Living

One response to “How to: Waste a day. Totally.

  1. Kurt Vonnegut got to 84 at leasy.

    So it goes.

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