Monthly Archives: January 2007

Tech Illiterate

I’m Harish Alagappa and I’m a Tech Illiterate. I never thought that I was a Computer Geek. Far from it. In fact, my interest in Computers basically was limited to a few rudimentary games, using office tools like word etc. and the odd ancient programming language that I was learning at that time. The Internet comprised of 90% of all my computing work and I was happy with it. However; fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony. I left the two IT Capitals of India/Asia? /The World??, Bangalore and Hyderabad to have my knowledge in computers vastly grow thanks to Abhimanyu Mitra and his forever upgraded PC. Anti-aliasing, GPUs and Nvidia all became a part of my lexicon and with some light reading, I believed that I am now a technocrat! Ah! Life! Thou art a bitch! My humbling was to come from that demon of the net, wikipedia. Looking up Linux, I found that the article was beyond my grasp. Perhaps it was because it was midnight after a particularly nasty evening (all my evenings are nasty, but THIS one was worse than ever), but Linux and many other tech-articles were all Greek (or should I say, Java?) to me! I swallowed my pride and…

This is embarrassing…

But I must be honest…

Not with my non-existent readers…

But with myself…

I…

Read the articles in Simple English!!!!!

yNtmnd!!!

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Filed under Computers and Tech, Life, Rants, Why Life Sucks

Do-Dyeh, Syeh-Syeh!

Thank You

Thank You, China. This is just what the world needed. Seriously, if wars on the ground for land, oil and (coming soon!) water were not enough, the Great Infallible People’s Animal Farm of China est. 1984. had to show-off their strength in the Aerospace sector. So, what did the CNSA do? Launch a communications satellite that will allow the Chinese to predict floods and provide Internet mobility to rural China? Launch a new satellite that can do research into the nature of dark matter? Create a re-usable, cost effective launch vehicle? Nope. Chairman Big Brother decided to follow the great teachings of Mao-der F**ker and his Reds and created a Anti-Satellite Ballistic Missile. Thank You! Now Star Wars is no longer fiction! The extremely intelligent Chinese always use their brains for the development of humanity!

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Filed under Astrophysics, Life, Politics, Science, Uncyclopedia Links Ahead!, Why Life Sucks

Leave it at 42

The Answer. To THE Question. The Ultimate Question. Of Life. The Universe. And Everything. Is… 42!

They’re not the exact quotes from the froodiest book ever written, but those lines have been over-used anyway.

What leads me to the topic of THE Answer is the fact that everybody in the world seems to be searching for it. Everyone believes that there is actually such a thing as THE Ultimate Question, and it has an Answer. I don’t know if DNA did it intentionally, but I can read into metaphorical meaning behind the entire Ultimate Question joke. The race of hyper-intelligent beings… what humanity and every science writer imagines that we will turn into one day, unless we nuke ourselves out of existence first. Deep Thought, Philosophers, the seven and a half million-year processing time, these are obvious satirical references to how seriously such a question is taken. The final answer, forty-two, is the punch line. It’s almost as if DNA is telling us, “Guys! This entire thing is a joke! There is NO Question, There is NO Answer!”

Unfortunately, 90% of the fools geniuses who read the Guide took it seriously. We have intelligent people who actually think it to be important enough to spend their time, energy and mindspace in search of this fabled question and its answer.

Intelligent Stupidity. Random Order. A Chaotic Cosmos.

“Do not try to bend the spoon, that’s impossible. Instead, try to realize the truth.”

“What truth?”

“There is no spoon”

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Filed under Ideas, Life, Random

Screwed by the ASEholes!!!

Cannot give physics major. Why? Attendance shortage. I oughta have 30 classes worth of attendance. How many do I have? 28. Director not willing to listen or consider ECA or Sealing. Faculty utterly useless. Apparently, I’ll have to give a re-exam in my 3rd sem (provided I’m still in ASEhole-land) and it won’t be mentioned in my final marksheet I’ll get in my 4th year.

Let’s just hope for the best.

“We will fuck ASE-land. Do you hear me? We will fuck it. We will ruin it. Like no one has ever fucked it!”

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Filed under College, Rants, Why Life Sucks

The Torture of Talent…

Figure out the significance of the title.

EM end-sem exam major  mockery. If we weren’t so blessedly fortunate to have a teacher who ditched us with half the syllabus done, we were the lucky ones to get a question paper made in Mechanics hell. Add to this the tiny little insignificant fact that I didn’t study at all before the exam and you get the general idea of what to expect.

Attempt any FIVE.

Question no. 1- Member truss… right-o, I can do this.

Question no. 2- Worm wheel… I thought lifting machines wasn’t in the syllabus, thanks Budhi!

Question no. 3- Moment of Inertia… skipped it, ‘coz I knew there’ll be only one qs from this which I’ll abandon.

Question no. 4- CoG of a shaft, D’Alemberts Law etc, etc… Done.

Question no. 5- Restitution. Ten mark derivation of distance travelled by a ball when dropped on a surface. I’m supposed to get something else, I got something else. Only later realized that I didnt anticipate the ball bouncing more than once. I know this sounds stupid, and it is, but the question was asked in a REALLY screwed up way.

Question no. 6- Define Creep. wtf? err.. Creep is a single by the British Alternative Rock band, Radiohead. Released in 1993 in their album, Pablo Honey? Out of syllabus. Damn it!

Question no. 7- Some easy shit which I can’t remember.

That’s it in a nutshell. No development on the physics front. The +5 I got in my attendance WAS from RSP *spit paan*.  Hence, I never quite recieved my +6 ECA attendance. “Unfortunately, the list has gone to the university” says Christine ma’am. She said it in an extremely grave tone as if it’s waaay beyond my reach forever now. Well, the university is block ‘B’, we’re block ‘E’. The list is still closer to me than the friggin’ canteen!

“If you are going through hell, keep going.”

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Filed under College, Rants, Why Life Sucks

“Eeeeek”-XAMS

The majors a.k.a end-of-semester a.k.a “It’s time for payback, you muggs…muhahahahahahaha” say the profs exams. The list of students who’ve been debarred comes out a day before our first exam and guess whose name is on it? Thank you, thank you very much!

I go from Patel Nagar to the Greater Noida Expressway (around 35kms) in 1hr 20 mins flat using only public transport wearing my pyjamas and slippers at 9.30 am… I think the temperature was around 11 or 12… Do NOT act in haste ever again.

I’ve been booted out in Maths, Physics and Computers… wtf? It took all day, but I managed to show them my certis and hence got the necessary attendance to clear the holy 75%… in two subjects! My physics attendance is STILL short by 2%. I missed those classes in quizzes where I didn’t get a certi or because Mr. R S Pandeyji didn’t like my coming 5 minutes late to a lecture. Right-o, then. Time to swallow one’s ego and beg. I’ve been doing that to no avail. I’m planning to confront my faculty with my certis and challenge them to ask me anything, absolutely anything in physics or at least let me give the paper on a provisional basis. Anything to escape a DE on my marksheet…

“Un bon mot ne prouve rien.”

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Filed under College, Rants, Why Life Sucks

David Iscariot

So! It’s a rumor, I agree, but  ill-rumors have a tendency to be harbringers of truth. Is Mister David “Metrosexual, formerly the best crosser and free-kick taker in the world, now relegated to an advertisment pin-up for the US” Beckham actually packing his bags from a lengthy siesta in REAL MADrid and moving to THAT club? Of course, there are many indications he might go to lesser illustrious ones such as West Ham(the prospect… Beckham losing to THE club at THE ground playing for West Ham!) or a decently reputed club such as Newcastle. But if he does go to THAT club… it will be betrayal. Agreed, it’s better than him going EWWW…THAT club or *that* club, but I still feel that he’s better off coming back to United…Reserves. Naah, seriously, go to Newcastle. With Becks and Owen, it will be a weird “dream partnership” that isn’t quite a dream partnership. Time will tell.

3 Comments

Filed under football, Manchester United