Monthly Archives: May 2006

Smells Like Sutta Spirit…

Which was the most popular song doing the rounds on the campuses of India last year? Was it Kajra Re or Aashiq Banaya Aapne? Perhaps you think it may have been some violence and sex glorifying monstrosity from 50 Cent? The answer, a song called ‘Sutta Na Mila’, loosely translated as ‘Didn’t Get My Cigarette’, by a band called Zeest which deals with college life in the metaphor of a sutta(hindi slang for cigarette). The song has been doing the rounds for over a year now and is the biggest underground hit ever, going by word-of-mouth publicity and surviving on MP3 downloads and CD’s burnt from friends. The success of the song can be attributed to it’s bindaas feel and the easy association with teenage life. Plus, the repeated use of the favorite hindi curse, you know the one which accuses you of incestuous relations with your sister, is a huge factor that makes this song the statement of college goers all over the country (BC forms part of the chorus, while the fourth stanza is nothing more than BC and MC in a rhythm). The song starts with the band dedicating it to all smokers and dopers. The biggest misconception about the song has been that the band, the Zeest, is an Indian band consisting of IIT students. This is untrue; Zeest is a Karachi based Pakistani band consisting of Skip(founder-singer), Abeer(manager), Anas (supporting vocalist), Aneel and Raheel on conga, tabla, and drums. The fact that the song contains the unmentionable swears ensured that no music channel or radio station were ready to play the song, but with it’s popularity in the underground circuit soaring, Zeest are reportedly coming up with a music video soon as well. Proving that this sutta has started quite a fire across the nation.
The lyrics:
Doston mein baitha main sutta pee raha
Abba ne mujhe sutta peete dekh liya
Ghar jab pahuncha to danda ho gaya
BC sutta, sutta na mila.
BC sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
BC sutta, sutta na mila.
BC sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
BC sutta, sutta na mila.

College mein gaya mujhe pyar ho gaya,
Usne bhi mujhse mera sutta cheen liya
Sadkon pe ghooma main tanha reh gaya
BC sutta, sutta na mila.
BC sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
BC sutta, sutta na mila.
BC sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
BC sutta, sutta na mila.

Shaadi hui main husband ban gaya
Raat bhar thoka main thak ke gir gaya
Khushiyon ki khatir mera sutta chin gaya, BC sutta.

BC sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
BC sutta, sutta na mila.
BC sutta, mujhe sutta na mila.
BC sutta, sutta na mila.

BC MC, BC MC BC MC.
BC MC, BC MC BC MC.
BC MC, BC MC BC MC.
BC MC, BC MC BC MC.

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Filed under Articles for TOI, Music, Reviews

Return to India?

There are occasions when something your granny tells you leaves you shocked. Something like this happened a couple of days ago while we were watching the Mumbai police mercilessly beating medical students up for protesting in a non-violent manner. My grandmother, someone who had actively participated in the Quit India movement was moved to tears, but the usually soft-mannered lady said in a uncharacteristically cold voice, “I wish I had never taken part in the Quit India movement, the British were much better than this.” I was shocked, but only temporarily, by this confession. Yet, I know believe it to be true, the British Raj was a million times better than this government. It would have been our fortune had Great Britain still been here, for despite all their shortcomings, they were much better administrators. They introduced the railways, telegraphs, telephones, schools and colleges. The argument that they also committed Jallianwala Bagh is neutralized by the fact that Dyer was immediately court-martialled from the army, while many people who have committed worse acts of mass killing roam scot-free in India today. The “honorable” HRD minister Mr.Arjun Singh surpassed Gen. Dyer in 1984 itself, when after the Bhopal Gas Tragedy, he arranged for the escape of Warren Anderson on December 4 1984. When a person who marched down the streets of Hyderabad shouting for the British to Quit India now herself wishes that they had never done so, it shows what a pathetic, incompetent, cruel, uncaring and downright stupid government we have today. 1946, we wanted the British out. 2006, we realize we were better off with them.

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Filed under Articles for TOI, Politics, Rants, Why Life Sucks

Gravitational Higgs Field etc…

Here’s something on the nature of Gravity:
I’ve been wondering…What if Gravity is not an exchange force like the other three. The reason we’ve never been able to figure out the quantum nature of gravity is because we’ve been trying to understand gravity as an exchange force. I believe that gravity and gravitational field are actually Higgs Fields. Thus, no matter actually has mass of it’s own. It is given mass by a high-energy gravitational field, which leaves little energy for the force itself to act on, thus the extreme weakness of gravity. It assigns mass to a substance based on some constant(alpha, as it is THE most basic constant) and then the field itself acts on the force, a bond being formed between the matter and the field, which supplied it energy. Thus, gravitational force is between the particle and the Higgs Gravitational Field (here we go with the neologisms!). As the field should be globally invariant, the presence of such force acting on it causes variance, which is resolved by curving the field a.k.a General Relativity, Thus, it appears to us that the force is between particles but is really independent of particles. This is still a very raw idea I’ve had for nearly three years now, but is slowly beginning to take shape as I learn more about Particle Physics.

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Alternative Theory of Creation.

M-Theory is noted (and often censured or misconstructed) on the basis of the presence of 11-dimensions in the theory. This is I believe, a key to the understanding of creation. I got the idea for this “theory” after staring at a hologram sticker and putting forth this philosophical argument:
Suppose there is a person who lives in 2-dimensional universe. Our current 3-d universe would be beyond his understanding. This implies that the probability of him existing in a 3-d universe is zero. But, he can exist in a hologram. A hologram is 2-dimensional, but to us 3-d people, we can observe 3-dimensions in it. Similar to a 3-D movie, wearing polarized glasses ensures that we realize the distortion on screen is in fact, a mechanism for making the movie 3-dimensional. Thus, a hologram, or the screen of a 3-D movie is a perfect universe for the co-existence of a person from a 2-d universe and people from 3_d universes. The 2-D person would be entirely unaware of the existence of the 3rd dimension. Could this be the same in our universe? Could our universe be one large virtual hologram sticker? This would entail that there are up to 26 or even infinite dimensions present in our universe, which we are incapable of understanding.
This argument then leads me to the question: Is it possible to “open up” these extra dimensions? Is there an energy or entropy limit for a dimension which when crossed will result in the opening up of an extra dimension where the entire process of the creating of a universe will begin again until it too breaks up into another universe. If so, the theory of creation will be altered to as follows:
In the beginning, there was energy. And there was a lo of it. Suddenly, it combined to form a universe, using reverse relativity, which by the Principle of Conservation of Energy and the Uncertainty Principle entails that the lifetime of matter created from energy is directly proportional to the size of the matter. Thus, a one-dimensional universe was formed. Consisting of only ONE fundamental force. Whether this one dimension was spatial or time, I cannot say. This universe must’ve (and I would really like it if it did) been a few Planck lengths and would’ve existed for as long time as the universe crossed the energy limit for it’s dimension. On this crossing, the energy would’ve been enough to “free” the 2nd dimension. After this 2nd Big Bang, there would’ve been a 2-dimensional universe containing 2 fundamental forces. This universe gave birth to a 3-d universe containing 3 forces and that eventually to our current 4th Universe, containing 4 Fundamental Forces. As per the second law of thermodynamics, entropy is forever increasing, so there will come a time when the entropy of our universe will suffice in creating a 5th universe. I believe that the forces we have now will split up and form a 5th force that will also have a attribute made for it (such as mass, electric charge and color are the attributes for our universe). As of now, we have a GUT and gravity theory. These are perhaps the forces that existed in the 2-dimensional universe.
Thus, my theory is basically a concept where the universe is one big hologram sticker. 11-dimensional theories will exist and work in 11-dimensions. Perhaps the “hiding” of these dimensions explains that gravity is the most fundamental force of all, as gravity has always been incompatible with other theories and is unusually weak.

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Filed under Astrophysics, Ideas, Quantum

Fight, Coward!!

The hallmark of cowardliness is the fact that the chicken heart claims to be brave, when instead acting in utter recreancy. The recent massacre in Doda is also an act of brutality committed by curs who don’t have the guts to fight an equally armed enemy in fair combat. On one hand, they claim to be fighting for the freedom of Kashmiris, but it is truly an unusual way to fight for the freedom of a race of people by massacring them on a regular basis. You see, we Indians tend to be peaceful with the exception of provocation, and so they have escaped till now. But I also ask our government, what will it take from them for us to do what is required, to hunt them down and exterminate them like the vermin they are. The solution to the Kashmir problem lies in India taking affirmative action against all militants, a job easier said than done, but not an impossible operation. The essence is to marginalize the opinion and loyalties of people in the favour of India. The best and perhaps only way to do this is by bringing as much development into the valley as possible. Improving the infrastructure, roads, bridges, electricity, water and giving the people of Kashmir a sense of security will ensure that public opinion is tilted in our favour. Militants believe in a reign of terror, they scared away the entire non-Islamic population of Kashmir and are exploiting the ignorance of the people living there coupled with a sense of fear and a distorted message of Islamic jihad against anything western, Indian, modern and progressive. The only way we can bring back Kashmir’s once vibrant Hindu and Buddhist population is by improving the system in place there/. The crux of this lies in education and unemployment. If the people of Kashmir are given good schools, colleges and a way to earn a livelihood, there will be no way that militants and terrorists can spread their ridiculous message of fear and will eventually be exterminated by inward lack of recruitment, opposition from the people and pressure from the army. The only way to make these cowards fight is by fighting their message of fear and ignorance with our message of knowledge and hope. In India’s march forward, Kashmir, which has always been the crown of the Indian nation, cannot be left behind.

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Filed under Articles for TOI, Politics, Rants

Die Zauberfloute

I’m so bloody desperate to get a copy of Die Zauberfloute. I heard a piece on the radio and have been desperately searching for a way to get the entire thing. I dont care if I cant understand a thing.

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