Monthly Archives: April 2006

AIEEE

AIEEE tomorrow. Don’t know why I’m not as nervous as I was before IIT-JEE. Perhaps it’s to do with the fact that I’m unsure if I’ll be happy in a REC in some bloody hick town in the middle of nowhere. Why are all REC’s and NIT’s in the heart of rural India. There’s no NIT Mumbai or NIT Bangalore, all NIT Suratkal or NIT Kochi or something like that. Plus, not a single college offers Aerospace Engineering. I’m more worried about BITS and DCE.

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Happy Birthd….Whatever, Nevermind.

April 24th 1988. There had been an unusual thunderstorm that had raged all through the previous evening and well into the night, uprooting trees and even killng a few chaps. The morning of the 25th dawned. The gynaec was at home. On awakening she was called to Nilofer Hospital, Hyderabad as A Gowri Lakshmi had gone into labour. A caesarian was performed and at 0655 hrs, Harish Alagappa came into this world. The only boy to be born in that hospital for the time between the 24th to the 27th of April, “blessed” with excellent astrological positions and having being born after a raging thunderstorm, great things were expected of this child.
25th April 2006. New Delhi. The boy is 18. All signs of greatness have faded into the twilight. People are in expectation of his grand failure. A disappointment, failure, under-achiever and “stupid-idiot”, he drifts in existence, fearful of the future, angry with the present and uncaring about the past. A simple wish lives in his brain, to be a Scientist. Fury, the story of his life.

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The Good, The Bad and The Oily.

“I-raq, You-raq we all raq for I-raq.” sang the Prez. “Maybe I hav’ta change that to I-ran, you-ran…”. Dubya West-wing sat in a pensive mood in what he calls the not-so-round shape office. “Are we winnin’ Condi?” he asked Corn-dough-pizza Rice.
“It’s only a matter of a few months before you can declare total victory in Iraq and move on to Iran” she replied.
“War? What war, I was askin’ ya if the Texas Rangers won their last game against the LA Angels? Aw heck, doesn’t matter. If they lose, I’ll just draft the USA Rangers Patriot Act.”
“Sir, maybe you should concentrate on how you can prove that Iran’s making Nuclear Weapons”, said Rice. She was practical, but not very smart, or else why would she be West- wing’s Secretary of State?.
“Yeah, otherwise they’ll think it’s personal, like they did when I attacked Eye-raq, but that ain’t true, just ask So-Damn Hissain..He learnt his lesson, right Pop?” he said lookin’ to his ‘My daddy strongest’ poster.
“But sir, what about Ahmadinejad?”
“What! Ahmed is Jenny’s Dad!! That’s it, I’m nukin’ them now! Must be this office, ol’ Bill couldn’t stay faithful and now Laura..” Replied a visibly distraught West-wing.
“No, Ah-ma-dinee-jad, the President of Iran. He and Russia are working out a deal in the nuclear issue” said c-needs-a-pizza, wondering when it’ll be her turn to ask stupid questions to a Secretary of State.
“Gee, them Russians at it again eh? Well, we’ll just havta start a War on Communism as well. ” replied West-wing, rubbing his hands in glee.
“But Russia’s capitalist now.” replied Rice.
“Then we’ll start a War on Capitalism” said west-wing, not wanting these petty issues to ruin his plans.
“But we’re Capitalist!” reminded Rice.
Gee, if it’s not hard enough keepin’ track if I’m a Democrat or a Republican, we have this; thought an impatient West-wing before replying, “Well then find something which they are and we’re not so we can fight ’em!”
“Why don’t just give them your old line, ‘If you’re not one of us, you’re one of them’ ” said Corndough-pizza, which reminded her of Star Wars Episode III and Hayden Christensen.
“Nah…Them Soviets just won’t learn. Why don’t we send Rambo there, or I’ll call my manservant and send that Bond guy..”
“Manservant? Don’t you mean, close partner and ally?” said an alarmed Sec.of State.
“Yeah whatever.” His REAL close partners and allies were that Aussie tennis guy John and Raf. Rosenast, thought West-wing; remembering the good old days in Maine in the 70s.
“Any news on Osama?” asked Rice, waking him from his reverie of the glug-glug, vroom-vroom days.
“Osa-who?” the name sounded familiar to West-wing, but he couldn’t quite place it.
“Osama Bin Laden, we’ve been searching for him for four and a half years now.”
“Oh yeah, that guy. Well, is Bin Laden laden with any WMDs?” retorted West-wing, happy that he finally got a chance to use that new word he’d learnt along with that old word he’d over-used three years ago.
“Yes sir, he is. The ones we gave him in the 80s to fight the USSR.” said Corndoughpizza Rice. She wouldn’t have been surprised had the Prez replied with a “Doh!”. In fact, her respect for him would’ve increased substantially.
“Well, he’ll just hav’ta wait. I’m thinkin'(Corndough snorted at the mention of this) what to do about I-ran and them Russians”
“Remember that we’re messing with oil-rich countries here” reminded Corndough, thinking of Venezuela’s President and his “Don’t mess with me, girl.” He was probably the only guy who had ever called her a girl.
“I got it! We just declare war against I-ran, Russia and anyone who supports them!And while we’re at it, why not invite Venezuela to the party!”
“But that would make the price of Oil rocket!” said Rice frightened.
“Exactly my dear Condi, then we folks at Texas will be the only people who can give the world any oil. The federal deficit will be converted into a federal surplus and the sun will never set on the American Empire!” replied the Prez. Rice looked at him, shock written on every feature of her face. Maybe this guy wasn’t so dumb after all.

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Horrorscope

I found my horrorscope!! Made at my birth, the priest made a few predictions on the basis of the positions of large balls of gas undergoing a continuous fusion reaction(i.e. stars) and planets. Unfortunately, it was in Hindi and pretty complicated Hindi at that, hence I had more than a little trouble understanding it, but I managed to decipher these few predictions made about me.
1. This boy due to the position of Mars in the highest house will be exceptionally intelligent(ha, ha, ha ,ha, ha!!!) and shall bring honour to the family.
2. Due to the simultaneous presence of the Sun, Venus and Saturn in (some) house, he has good leadership potential.
3. He will establish a special relationship with the public.
4. This boy should be kept very carefully until he is completely learned and ready to face the world.
5. Kethu in the 5th house will cause academic problems despite his intelligence and a break in his education.(thats very reassuring for someone wondering if he’ll get into any college this year!!)
6. His worst period in life will end on 2nd April 2006.(well, life did suck till then, but I see no major difference now)
7. The opposite sex will cause him bother untill he is 19 years of age. (they haven’t caused me so much of a bother yet..hell, they ignore me!!)
8. He has the tendency to be attracted towards evil, hence, moral education is very important for him.
9. He will be extremely sensitive, emotionally, as a boy, but will lose that with age.(That’s very true!!)
All in all, he has the potential to be immortalised.
This proves without a shadow of doubt that astrologers are the biggest fakers around. Will I take this shit seriously, HELL NO!!

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Strumming with Strings…

I’ve had this idea in my head for quite some time….
Is it possible to superimpose the string frequencies which represent gluons, W bosons, photons and gravitons(?) and apply Feynman’s Sum of Histories to get a string which represents the carrier particle of the Unified Force? Could work..

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Eureka!,Apples and a Nutshell.

You may be wondering what the name means…..it’s a simple tribute to three great minds of ancient, medieval and modern. Ancient- Archimedes, hence “Eureka!”. Medieval- Newton, “Apples” and Modern- Stephen Hawking, “Nutshell” is from his ‘The Universe In a Nutshell’. The URL, “bongobanging” is dedicated to my idol and role-model, Richard Phillips Feynman.

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Salman Khan, The Victim.

These are hard times in the Indian Judicial system. Once, a haven for the rich, famous and powerful, it is sad to note that today, even celebrities are being prosecuted as if they were, (forgive me for saying this), normal citizens. The Salman Khan case is a perfect example. It is truly the ineptitude of the judicial system, which had just recently shown with Manu Sharma in the Jessica Lal case, that wealth and standing allow you to escape the ignominy of prosecution for criminal behaviour, that has sentenced our beloved celebrity to 5 years imprisonment. I ask you, do you not see that he is a movie-star?? Do you not realize that in our nation, wealth and power allow you to roam scot-free after committing a crime?? Then, why, oh! why do you victimize him so?? We hear the voices of those insufferable do-gooders who say that under the Sections 2(16), 9/51 and 9/52 of the Wildlife Protection Act 1972, Salman Khan should be imprisoned for poaching an endangered species. Vile conspirators! He is SALMAN KHAN!! He has the right by being a Bollywood King to hunt as all kings have done throughout history. What has a Chinkara ever done for you? Do Blackbucks make such outstanding works of cinema as Hello Brother, Tere Naam, Saawan-the love season and the innumerable other movies which will go down in history as the peak of Indian culture during the late twentieth and early twenty first centuries? By imprisoning this superstar, we are preventing him for further delighting us with his amazing movies and stirring performances. i am truly shocked at our judiciary for victimizing Salman just because he is a celebrity and I hope that good sense prevails over all our judges, that he and all those who are celebrities, rich and powerful may be able to freely break the law and not have to worry to suffer the consequences as we normal people have to.
(Keeping in mind the average intellectual capacity of a Salman Khan fan or well-wisher, I believe I must clarify that I am being sarcastic in the above post)

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