The presence of an absence

I’m bad at pretty much everything, but I’m exceptionally bad at social activities. I have always been under the impression that people prefer the presence of my absence. It’s not dissimilar to the sequence from Black Adder the Third, where Baldrick explains why he thinks his first name is “sod off“.

When I was a child and playing in the gutter, I used to say to the other snipes “Hello, my name’s Baldrick,” and they would reply, “Yes, we know. Sod off, Baldrick!”

This is usually okay with me. But the strange bit is when I start receiving evidence to the contrary. So, the idea that the reaction (not exactly prevalent everywhere, but prevalent nevertheless) to the presence of my absence is not indifference but rather a very slight amount of sadness is… surprising, gratifying and also frustrating.

Surprising because… Hell, I never expected people to miss me! It’s such new and unusual territory!

Gratifying. That’s obvious isn’t it?

Frustrating… Because it is not only one-sided. And more importantly, WHY THE FUCK AM I ALWAYS SHORT ON CASH?!

This is new. I miss someone pretty badly. And I’m doing nothing to alleviate the situation. Yeah, ain’t I just great? Goddam it, I feel so inadequate right now. It’s pathetic, pitiful and also true. What I need is a vacation! Ankur’s not enjoying Himachal, so I guess I better keep away. Question is, where do I go? A lot of places come to mind: Leh, Agra, Varanasi, Hyderabad, Vishakapatnam et cetera. 

This weekend is perhaps the best one I’ve had since the end of May! Today was a great afternoon spent in the company (cum panis heh heh heh) of friends, rum, butter chicken and a joke involving a girl mispronouncing the last word in the sentence “I want a Large Coke”; whereas tomorrow is some free Pizza and Beer at Gurgaon. After that, it’s back to the old charade of summer training. Sec-37 to sec-125 and back.

As for the bloc and this thing here… I guess I’m going to stick around and try to beat it. The problem is that I do not truly understand why I blog.

Tagged by the Meme-saab?

As TBB said, “WWRDD?”

One religious work from a non-familiar tradition you’ll read:

Shinto, I guess. Don’t know much about it. Maybe even Tao.

One music video–that you like–from your “least likely to listen to’ genre:

Hatja Tau from Bhojpuri music. Watching that idiot dance is worth it!

A book from a genre you almost never read, that you have read, or you will read (promise!):

Something by Albert Camus, I guess.

Somewhere you’d never thought to go on holiday/vacation, and why it might be fun to go there?

Pakistan. To visit Harappa, Mohenjodaro, Takshashila etc and also to experience the feeling of being an Indian in Pakistan.

A specific food you’ve never tried, but will because of this meme, honest!:

American cuisine. Steak, pork chops and stuff like that.

A sport or game you really hate, or haven’t tried yet, but are willing to give one more go:

Jogging. One. Last. Time.

A style of dance you probably won’t try (we won’t make you promise on this one)

Choreographed hindi film dances. And the weird shit people do in Delhi clubs (hip-hop, bhangra and idiocy all mixed into one)

A career job you don’t feel you’re suited for, and why:

Modelling. ’nuff said.

An item that’s “thinking out of the box’ for this meme that hadn’t been included:

If you caught your parents screwing, what position would you like them to be in?

It’s there’s one thing in life you wanted to do, and will do because of this meme, what will it be?

Work in an office with cubicles and bosses and deadlines and be “Fitter. Happier. More Productive…”

In other news… Viva La Vida was a letdown. It’s not that I hate it or it’s bad. The foundation for the album was more or less fucked up. Coldplay wanted to do a Radiohead… but they didn’t have the ‘nads to do what it takes. End result: Weak album.

Dear Mr. Chris Martin,

What happened to the band that made ‘Parachutes’ and ‘A Rush Of Blood To The Head’? If you want to experiment, go all the way. Don’t start and then pussy out halfway.

Regards,

Me.

Trying to get my hands on some music by Primus. Waiting for some Bach CDs from Bangalore.

I’m bored. Somebody, help me!

Mental MP3 Attacks Again!

My mood can usually be encapsulated by studying which songs are playing in my head. And since last night, it’s been the same damn song. This one. Which is odd because House or Dance Electronica isn’t what you’ll usually catch me listening to. Though I can’t say I despise it. I have nothing against any genre, actually. (Except Bubblegum Pop. I HATE THOSE FUCKING BUBBLEGUM POP MORONS!)

So, yeah, I guess that does express what’s the state of the thing formerly known as my mind. I know it’s kind of lujjar-esque lyrically, but it’s not that bad. There are, in fact, very few songs that deal with that topic and do not have lujjar-esque lyrics. My personal favorite is…

You can laugh, a spineless laugh. We hope your rules and wisdom choke you. For now we are one, in everlasting peace. We hope that you choke. That you choke.

Strangely enough, the song that did occupy my mind until this one replaced it does not immediately give one any hint as to what my state of mind was then. So, Mars bar to anyone who can tell me. The song is what Terrance and Phillip sing in their maiden appearance on American television on the Ed Sullivan show. (Check out Season 5 ep.5 ‘Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow‘)

Till then… ‘Days Go By…’

Attempts at beating the bloc

I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned why I have this habit of omitting the ‘k’ and spell the disease I am currently suffering as “Writer’s Bloc”. Die Batra Wird thought it’s a show of solidarity with the comrades at JNU or Steven’s/Stephen’s/Stefaaan’s. Actually, it’s a really bad joke. You see, my writer’s bloc is soooo bad… that I can’t even write the ‘k’ in block.

The Harish, The.

I don’t know whether I should do this… My first idea to beat the bloc was to tag myself and just fill up answers to inane questions that are somehow supposed to judge your personality (tagging –> Scientology. There is a connection). But that was just because I did not want to fuck up what I am going to try and write now. You see, I read a book a couple of days ago. It was a book I’ve been looking for the last 3 years. And it was everything I hoped it would be. There are two other books that I had been searching for a few years that I finally managed to get my hands on right now. (That sentence right there shows you how bad my bloc is. Just look at that mangled piece of crap! Yeesh!)

The books are:

• ‘Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid’ by Douglas Hofstadter
• ‘The Future Of Theoretical Physics and Cosmology’ various authors. (Ranging from Roger Penrose to Kip Thorne to Edward Witten)
• ‘Dune’ by Frank Herbert

I want to review Dune. I really do! I loved the book. I think it’s the Lord Of The Rings meets Islamic Philosophy meets Asimov. It is easily one of the best books I have ever read. The only problems I had with it were to do with contrasting visions of the future.

The future is analogous to the present. Human beings evolved in Africa and then spread to different parts of the world with each separate branch developing their own unique culture, religion and way of life. Similarly in Dune, human beings evolved on earth and then spread to different parts of the universe. Each planet developed it’s own culture etc. However, though science has progressed in leaps and bounds (evident from the amount of respect Mathematicians receive), there are a lot of medieval or rather ancient ideals still floating about and I don’t get that. For example, how can people still believe in religion? You’d think science and space-travel would eliminate all religion as religion has it’s base in uncertainty and doubt and more importantly, the belief that WE are somehow so important that an omnipotent being is looking after us. Or the role of women. It’s a space-age society where science and superstition co-exist. Muad’Dib sees visions, but these visions incorporate Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle and the concept of Chaos Theory. (the thoughts going through his mind before his fight with Jamis is Chaos Theory in a nutshell).

The Islamic nature of the books is unmistakable. I don’t know much about Islamic history, but I feel that the character of Paul Atreides (Muad’Dib, Usul) is reminiscent of the Prophet Mohammad. The presence of quite a few Arabic/Urdu phrases and sometimes straightforward Islamic references add to this conjecture. Paul is trying to prevent the future he foresaw where the Fremen lead a Jihad in his name. There are references to the Hijra, the Hajj and even though the name Muad’Dib is apparently the Fremen term for a desert mouse, according to wikipedia:

In Arabic, مؤدّب mu’addib means ‘educator.’

Also, Lady Jessica’s sietch name, Sayyadina is I think part of the Prophet Mohammad’s full name.

I thought that due to this, the possibility of a Dune movie in the current socio-political climate was next to impossible, only to realize that a movie was already made in 1984. (Hey!)

Now I’m trying to get my hands on the sequels. I guess that Dune and Herbert are the perfect antithesis to CS Lewis and Narnia. It’s odd, I’m a huge fan of Tolkein and yet despise his close buddy!

Anyway, I think I’ve babbled enough. I’m supposed to be working on my summer project(s). A failure analysis of three missions (Challenger, Columbia, GSLV F-02); some MATLAB shit (we have to learn it ourselves, Hell! I don’t even know what MATLAB is! Is it a software? A language? What the fuck!) and something to do with Eddies in a continuum. (No, seriously! You guys? Seriously!)

Enough talking! Writer’s bloc is not the inability to write at all. Rather, it’s the inability to write well. And by the looks of this post, I have a long way to go before I’m cured.

What’s the opposite of purple?

March 2008 – till date

By far, my worst case of writer’s bloc ever. All of my posts in the last three months have been wretched pieces of fecal matter.

I can’t write! I can’t write! Yaaaargh!

FUCK!

M&Ms

This post is dedicated to the two M’s that make my life worthwhile:

First; a harmonica, a bass guitar, a piano and a room that’s not very well-lit. Add a pair of large and extremely dark sunglasses to that. I’m gonna start a-singin’ now. *ahem* “My girl’s sober. While everyone else around her is drunk. WTF? WTF? WTF?“

This could precipitate into something nasty. Let’s see.

In other news, Mensa Delhi-NCR is upto something. It’s top secret. All I can say is… it’s fun. And it starts with a Q. In fact, it’s a series of that thing that’s fun and starts with a Q.

I also moved for the 4th time in one and a half years. I’m now in an old-age home! The good part is… a. I get my own room! No room-mates! Yay!  b. It’s in a very nice part of Noida (sec-37) which leads me to  c. If time and the weather permit, it’s a half-an-hour walk from my “college”!

By an extraordinary coincidence, the name of the place also starts with an M. 

mmmmm….